Side By Side

14.

"Okay, okay," I said trying to end our laughing. Jake and I were sitting on my mattress, our backs against the wall, the light gone from the sky and the chilly nights air poured in through the window.

"What's the biggest scar you have?" I asked. We had been asking questions back and forth for nights and nights. It started as awkward and broad questions "what's your favourite colour?" "What's your favourite movie?" "What's your favourite subject?" But eventually the questions got more pointed and a little more tailored until they morphed into easy conversations.

"You go first," he told me.

"Oh, uhhh," I braved myself to tell a story like it was normal and didn't hurt to tell, "It goes right across my right knee and I got it when I was twelve and in Rome," I paused awkwardly, "with my parents,"

"Yes, I figured," Jake laughed. I forced a chuckle too. I was glad he wasn't looking at me and instead up at the ceiling. It was much easier to lie when people couldn't see your face.

"Anyways, we were climbing these steps in some ruins, but they were weirdly tall, and I slipped and smacked my knee on the stone," I said. Jake made a cringing noise.

"Stitches?" He asked.

"Yeah, I don't remember how many though," there was a slight lull, "Your turn,"

"Okay, I was eight, and my dad still lived with us. I had been growing my hair out for half a year. I was going for a shaggy skater boy look,"

I gasped, "I need to see a picture,"

"Duly noted," Jake said before taking a breath and continuing, "anyways so I was home with my dad and I was planning on shaving my head. He hadn't spoken to me for a couple of days and I wanted to do something that would make him, mad, or surprised, or any reaction at all. So I took the clippers and just started going ham,"

"Oh no," I groaned. Jake laughed.

"Oh yes. The guard was off. I got like three cuts in and sliced my head," he pointed to a spot by his ear which no hair was growing in a straight line, "it's my only scar,"

"So, how did your dad react?" I asked.

"What?"

"Well the whole point of buzzing your hair off was to get a reaction right? And you were probably bleeding a whole bunch,"

Jake sighed, "Uh turns out he wasn't even home. He left without telling mom and I on a 'business trip'," he put air quotes around "business trip" and I wanted to ask what he meant, but I didn't.

"W-what? So what did you do? find your mom?"

"She was at work. She came home and found me a half hour later and took me to the emergency room, and then the hair dressers. Dad didn't come back for two weeks and then after that he came for his stuff, and never came back," Jake wasn't looking at me, he was still staring at the ceiling. I took a breath, scooted closer to him, and rested my head on his shoulder. Jake didn't like to be consoled, he liked to be the one consoling, he didn't like getting hugs as much as he liked giving them.

"I'm sorry," I said simply.

"It's okay," he sighed and rubbed his eyes, "It was years ago,"

"Still," I said.

"I know," there was a moment of silence before Jake spoke again.

"Addi, do you miss your parents?" He asked.

"You have no idea," I replied. I sat up straight again and rubbed my eyes hoping he wouldn't notice the tears lining them, "It's getting late you should probably head home before your mom goes to sleep,"