Genre : extreme angst.
Warning : this chapter will contain some triggering subjects.
Such as:
1- depression.
2- suicidal thoughts.
3-self harm.
Etc.
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"Jongho!! You still haven't got ready?" Hongjoong the leader yelled at the young boy while fixing his attire. They are currently going to M2 performance video shooting.
"Ah sorry hyung. I forgot to tell you I've an exam tomorrow." Jongho said hoping that the lie would do its magic.
"how could you be irresponsible you only tell me now? Literally before 20 Minutes before the shooting?" Hongjoong angrily let out as he puffed his cheeks.
"hey hey, take it easy on him Hongjoong" seonghwa the oldest member came in the kitchen after he heard some yelling.
Lately the group has been under so much pressure and there was a thick layer of tension in the air because of their debut. Which meant there was a lot of yelling and fights.
"you stay out of this seonghwa. I'm not talking to you" Hongjoong sassily said.
"what did you just say? I'm the hyung here in case you forgot so show some fucking respect." the older one almost yelled.
"well I'm the leader, and I was scolding a member you have no right to step in!"
"wow we are members now? We are family first then group members. How could you be so inconsiderate. You know that jongho is going through a lot these days from his parents to his exams why are you yelling at hi-"
"STOP! Stop yelling. I lied I don't have an exam I just don't to go I'm not feeling well now leave me alone. Make any excuse for the manager I can't deal with you anymore" Jongho barely managed to let out as tears streamed down his face. Finding it hard to control his sobs as he walked outside.
"Hey jong-" Jongho hurriedly walked past Yunho and ignoring him completely.
Yunho got extremely worried since the boy was crying his eyes out. He immediately went into the kitchen to find seonghwa and Hongjoong still yelling and arguing about who's fault its.
" guys stop we need to get going by now I came here to get you to the van. All the members are waiting." the youngest one said as he walked our while dragging the two older ones who were currently glaring at each other.
Now all of the members are stuffed in the car and soon they caught up in conversations and totally forgot about the maknae.
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Jongho was inside of the bathroom staring at his reflection on the mirror.
"so ugly and useless" he whispered as he pulled out a blade.
He looked at the sharp shining figure in his hand. Slowly greased it with his fingers.
He took a deep breath as he lifted up his sleeve. Uncovering a real mess. His hand had different shapes of cuts and bruises.
He found it hard to find it an empty space that he can cut.
A new place. He thought to himself. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub. He got rid of his sweatpants uncovering his thick milky thighs.
He stared at his thighs with empty eyes. He lifted his hand and gently placed the blade on his thigh.
He shut his eyes tightly as he puts pressure on the blade and starts moving it back.
He softly hisses and feels his eyes wile up with tears.
