AIR CAV DAYS IN GERMANY: THE COLD WAR ADVENTURES OF REV

Chapter 30 WINTER DOLDRUMS

Setting his bag down next to the CQ desk in the barracks Revv felt tired, it was two a.m. and he had to be in formation for PT at 6 a.m. Army regulations required him to sign back in from leave in person so he couldn't do it later in the day. He saw that one of the motor pool soldiers was on duty and the duty sergeant was sleeping on a burnt orange vinyl couch. He decided to try to convince his buddy on duty to sign him in at 11:45 p.m. Revv whispered so as not to wake up the duty sergeant, "Hey dude, can you sign me in before midnight?" The soldier leaned forward and whispered, "You owe me one Revv." "No prob, I got your back." "No, twenty bucks." Revv smiled and nodded his agreement; he had just saved another day of leave. Well worth the twenty bucks.

Opening the door to his room he tried to be quiet, feeling mellow after his trip, he figured there was no need to disturb his roommates. Silently crossing the room he searched for the metal lamp's cord on the lamp on his bunk side table. After a minute or two he found the lamp, for some reason it was upside down on the floor, he turned it over and pulled on the metal chain. The light came on and illuminated a disaster area. Everything on his side of the room had been turned upside down. Disbelief was replaced by resignation and anger. I'll deal with this crap tomorrow, he thought feeling too tired to put his room right side up at this time of night.

Prying the mattress out from under the bunk, Revv set it in the only available open space in front of his upside down wall locker. Pulling off his stinky dress uniform he immediately laid on the bare mattress. The room was cold, rolling over he dragged the sheets and blanket out from under the bunk and spread them out into some sort of usable semblance of a bed. "Hmmph, hmmph," Eraser Head and The Whale lay in their beds giggling like school girls. Not to worry motherfuckers, revenge is best served cold and late. Satisfied with his bed for the short remainder of the night, Revv clicked off the light. "Nighty, night jack asses." The Whale and Eraser Head answered with more giggles.

The next morning came early. SSG Terry banged on their door at 0530 to conduct a surprise room inspection. For some sadistic reason, sergeants liked to conduct room inspections immediately after someone returned from a vacation. The tradition was one of the Army's standard warm hearted welcome home gifts, "Good vacation? Good. Now get back to fucking work!"

SSG Terry immediately lit into Revv chewing him out over the upside down appearance of his room. "Some new fashion sense Revv?" the sergeant said with a grin that kept threatening to break into a laugh. Revv stood solemnly at parade rest vowing revenge on his roommates. Eraser Head and The Whale stood at parade rest doing their best not to laugh, it wasn't working very well. Thank God SSG Terry had a sense of humor this morning or maybe he just enjoyed seeing Revv get fucked with by his roommates. He let them off with a warning. "Fix it after PT or else!" "Yes sergeant." SSG Terry slowly slipped into a vengeful tone while poking Revv in the chest, "Tonight, I will return to make sure nothing was damaged. If it was, you're paying asshole. He then left with a slam of the door.

"Assholes," laughed Revv trying to see the humor in the situation. "Welcome home shithead," laughingly returned Eraser Head who knew he had to watch his back for the next month.

SSG Terry returned that evening as promised, obviously very drunk. "Shurprish room inspeshctun," he slurred. SSG Terry leisurely strolled through their room with his hands behind his back closely inspecting Revv's Army issued furniture for any damage. "No damage," hic, "none here" hic. This went on for at least ten minutes.

Revv, The Whale, and Eraser Head stood at parade rest waiting for him to finish his hazing. They could easily see that Terry was extremely drunk. Taking exaggerated slow long strides he stopped in front of Revv's mountain bike. After inspecting the bike, he swiftly turned, "Revv!" "Yes sergeant." "I have an idea." Oh shit, this can't be good. "You don't ride your bike very often, do you?" SSG Terry said getting very close to Revv's face, just daring him to say otherwise. Revv refused to cowed, "I ride at least every two weeks sergeant." "Like I said, you don't ride very often. Me on the other hand, I need a bike to ride and plan on riding every day. My idea is this, we keep your bike in my room and you just let me know when you need it." This is worse than when he told me I had too many shoes and had to throw some pairs away. Revv recalled his exact order, Man don't need but two pair of shoes. One for PT and one for dress, throw the rest away or put them in storage.