Behind The Smiles.

Chapter Eleven.

Joker felt how fast he was breathing right now and that he couldn't stop shaking. His arms and legs felt numb while he opened the bedside table he kept his medicine in and carefully gave himself a shot of two different kinds of sedatives. It's been a while since he's had a panic attack and he was just glad he kept enough of those around. "So much medical care. I could drug half the population of this city. Waaaait!" He relaxed a bit and looked down at the drawer full of pills and shots, all in the original packing. "If I mix these with....where are they? ...with those..heh. Hehehe!"
He slowly stood up and shook his head. "Isn't my mind just awesome?" He grinned, opened the door and walked out with the packages in his hands. Harley started to feel a bit more relaxed once she saw his grin.
"I'm glad someone's smiling."
She headed over to feed the hyenas a couple of steaks. She knew that look anywhere, he was most likely planning something, but she didn't want to ruin another set of plans so she just minded her own business this time.
Trying to ignore his sore skin and actually not minding the raw flesh on his left forearm, he felt the sedatives calming my nerves, only his ribs are hurting.
"Daddy's off to get some things done." He took his purple coat and headed towards the front door but turned his head around to Harley as he opened it. His grin faded as well as his happy voice and he got a more serious tone. "And we two need to talk when I'm back." He walked out and closed the door behind him. Harley's voice got a little shaky. "Alright, be careful." Just when her stress levels were starting to go down, She felt them shoot right back up. She started thinking of possible scenarios that could happen once he got back. Joker walked over to the car and got in, gasping because of the way his broken ribs stabbed into the muscles.
"There goes the mood." He bent his body to the right side to take the pressure off the bones and sat straight up after the pain wore off. Joker knew he should've stayed in bed or with as little movement as possible, but he thought it's too boring - so Joker drove off to Scarecrow's since he needed him for my plan.
Harley went to pour herself a cup of coffee. "It's gonna be a long day, isn't it?" She sighed. Bud came over and licks her leg.
"How about we go for a walk?" She figured it would get her mind off of things. The bombshell walked over and grab the leashes, put them on Bud and Lou and head out the door.

"What can I do for you?" Crane asked as Joker arrived at his hideout. His two henchmen guide me into a small hall downstairs and leave as Scarecrow made a single handmove.
"I actually came up with a plan to poison this broken hole of a city. I wrote down some instructions and notes, mainly for myself but since you have access to various kinds of medical centers and are more skilled in chemistry than me, I thought you might be interested in this plan." He handed him the paper and added: "If 'we' succeed, half the population will be dead and we can share the money."
It took Scarecrow some moments to read through his notes and to think about it. "This actually seems like a fair deal." He stood up and handed him the paper back.
"I will think this through and give you my answer tomorrow." He grinned.
"Thanks, Jonathan. Hear from you later then." He happily walked upstairs and started calmly driving towards his own hideout.

After a few minutes Harley and the boys started to head back, because Lou thought it was a good idea to have a squirrel to munch on. "Lou, I love you but you're disgusting." She walked in through the door and unleashed the boys. "Rocco, did anything happen while I was out?" She called upstairs. "No, sorry Miss Quinn."
"Alright." She headed to the laundry room to do a few loads. He stopped the car right in front of the hideout as he reached it, slowly getting out and trying not to make any sudden moves that could hurt his ribs again.
After he locked the car, he carefully walked towards the front door, feeling close to just sit down and fall asleep but with enough self control to open the door and get in at first, suddenly remembering what he wanted to get done with at first.
"Hello everyone!" He called and Rocco looks at from - surprise, surprise - the kitchen.
"Hello, boss." He says with a big sandwich in his hands. "Harley, come here. Rocco, go away." He ran his hand through his hair and needed to sit down on the couch, feeling as if he was starting to get sick and waiting for her to come out of the laundry room.
Harley put the last load in before walking towards Joker. "Yes, Mr. J?" She awkwardly smiled and began to feel nervous, she had almost forgot that they were going to have a talk. She sit down next to him and crossed her arms.
Joker stared at her with emotionless eyes and cleared his throat before he started the conversation. "That's funny." He grinned in some confusing way and looked aside. "All day I thought about not much more than this conversation - yet I don't know how to start." He scratched his head, then just began. "But I'm simply gonna start by asking what you thought when you got the cure without talking to me. And don't say 'because I was worried' 'cause I refuse to accept that answer anymore."
Harley began to uncross her arms.
"You said that you'd never ask Batman so, I let it get the best of me and I decided to call in a favor or two." She looked down at the floor and started playing with a loose thread on my sleeve. "I was wrong not to talk to you about it, but I knew you'd say no." She continued playing with the thread.
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Harley, when I say I won't do this or that, it's because of reasons." He tried to keep his voice as calm as he could, although he felt a slight hint of rage for Harley ignoring his words. "And it's not fun to make a new plan when you have three days left." He looked at his watch. "Well, two days and a half." His eyes moved back to her.
"I know you knew... I wasn't alright when I said so. And it's because I care enough about you that I don't want you to concern about my personal problems." He looked aside as he felt his eyes getting wet again. "I'm way too unstable right now and you saw what happened when you thought you helped me with getting me the cure." He bit his lip till it bled while trying to keep himself together.
She stopped playing and looked up at him.
"I know, but I felt like I had to something." She noticed her voice was a little shaky. "And yes, I'll admit that whatever's wrong with you isn't helping you with your emotions or actions." Her eyes started to water. "But you've kept a positive attitude about this and I'm proud of you for it." She started blink trying to prevent any tears from rolling down.
"There's no reason you should be proud. If anything, you should be angry at me for snapping like that." He gulped as he saw the tears in her eyes. "And if it weren't for the loads of anti psychotics I still have in my veins, I wouldn't be able to explain this to you." His hands started to get cold but more because of his weakness than the emotions. "Because when I was drugged with mood stabilizers and stuff back there..." He pointed at the room he'd been in a day ago. "I was...kind of sane for a moment. And...I realized what I've done to people over the years. Especially you." His breath starts to shake a bit but he still had enough self control to talk as if nothing happened. "Snapping like yesterday was because I had to deal with so many bad news that I could start writing a book. And you getting me the cure was the one thing that's been too much for me." He still felt more and more tears in his eyes but refused to let them out or let Harley see them so he looked aside. "What I did...it was nothing personal against you. It was just the way I tried to deal with everything at that moment."

"I would never be angry at you. Worst comes to worst I'll give you the silent treatment for 10 minutes." She tried to lighten the situation and quickly wiped away a tear. "This has been hard on all of us. Especially you, but keeping your feelings bottled up inside doesn't help." She gulped trying to hold back a few more tears. "That's why I always ask you how you're doing." She sniffled and look down again.

"And I say I'm fine because it's difficult, even for me and I don't want people having bad mood or being sad around me."
He looked at her, not able to stop grinning while he was still violently holding back the tears that make her face look blurry.
"That drags me down. And if it's something I don't need right now is sadness." He doesn't close his eyes because he didn't want the tears to drip down and tilted his head while staring at her. "But I have something else to say. Something that isn't easy to say for me." He took a deep breath and roll his eyes in another attempt to pull his emotions together. "For all the angry words and cursing, for every slap and time I screamed at you for no reason..." He moved a bit closer to Harley and wrapped his arms around her for a hug, then rest his head on her shoulder with his mouth right beside her ear. "I'm sorry."
The blonde couldn't hold the tears back anymore, two streams start to form on her face. "I forgive you.." She knew that took a lot of courage for him to say. "And the only time I'm sad is when you don't tell me things." She hugged him back gently while trying not to get makeup on his coat. "I love you, puddin." She tightened her grip a little bit.
"I know." Joker kept grinning for no reason and tried to calm Harley down by stroking her back. Gulping, he ignored the pain every inch if his skin gave him as she hugged him back and decided just to leave her this moment.
'You've been through worse.' He thought and noticed something running down his cheeks. His body started shaking in the shock he always got when he's crying and without wanting it, he started sobbing. "Also sorry about my tears on your clothes." He smiled as the tears kept running down his face.
With tears still rolling down her face, She started to grin at his last sentence. "It's fine, I'm sorry too." She loosed her grip a little bit when she notice his body shaking. A million emotions were running through her head all at once. "It's laundry day anyways." She giggled trying to cheer him up. "Go whenever you want." He took his arms off her and leaned back, not even wiping off his tears and just kept smiling while leaning back, carefully scratching his left forearm. He wasn't quite sure why he was still not able to calm down but at least he stopped shaking. She felt a bit relieved to see he wasn't mad at her anymore. "Are you sure, puddin?" She sniffled then sat up straight. Some how she managed to make her voice sound normal. Now the only thing bothering her is how are they going to fix this in 2 days.