Two halves makes a whole

Dull

You are sitting in your dark and empty apartment, nothing ever changes, everything around you are so dull. You feel almost nothing anymore, no happiness, anger, or fear, the only feeling you have are longing. The only thing that tells you you're alive is pain, pain grounds you, pain helps you, pain is the only thing you have left.

You take off your hoodie and grip your arms, as your nails dig into your nearly healed skin, a smile creeps on to your face. Your fingers punctures your arms and beads of crimson rolls down your skin, your breathing becomes heavier and heavier, the feeling of pain tingles across your senses as your nails widens the wounds. You are adicted to the feeling, it makes you feel alive again.

You walk to your mirror and stands in fron of it, your arms are beautifully painted in gashes and blood, your hands alike. You begin digging one nail into your neck, drawing blood, you make a small cut on your throat. Pearls of blood peaks through the red line, and rolls down leaving crimson tracks behind. Your mismatching eyes meet in the mirror, the red shine from your right one sends shivers down your spine.

You look beautiful for once.

You suddenly stop, your smile drops. "How could I ever think that? I am not worthy of such thoughts" you whispers as you walk into the bathroom. You sit down in the bathtub and turn on the shower, it is cold, the water wash away most of the blood from your body. You look at your arm, blood still lingering, what does it taste like? Before you could even thing about it, you lap up some of the liquid from your arm.

The moment the blood touches your tongue your body craves more, the metallic taste is mixed with notes of cream, wine, salt, and other flavors you are unable to describe. You stop yourself as you feel your teeth sink into your skin, something is trying to break the skin on your back from the inside, you have a pretty good guess on what that could be. You feel slightly afraid for once, just as you register the feeling, your skin breaks.

You close your eyes as you feel the cagune forming, this is your first time, you are afraid of what it looks like. You gather some courage and open your eyes, you are able to see red shapes creeping from both sides of your body. Without turning of the shower, you walk out of the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror. Red wings decorates your back, and a small red tail is swaying slightly.

"This isn't right" you whispers as you touch your kagune, it tingles a bit. You sit down on the floor, your right iris is as red as ever, still engulfed by the black sclera. You wonder if this is what your mother looked like in her days. Your cagune melts away, and you are left with a feeling of stillness once more.

Life doesn't feel as dull anymore.