Lonely Christmas - A Sailor Moon Fanfiction

Chapter 3 - Confession

I walk home happier than I've ever been before in my life. I don't even mind the snow, or the decorations, or the kids happily pelting each other with snowballs. I'm happier than all of these things put together.

 The feelings that are inside me can't be anything else but love. I've fallen in love with Usagi, and by God I don't know how I couldn't have realized it sooner. Just the thought of her name makes my insides twist and turn, and she gives me such a warm feeling inside...

 And I would be spending a majority of my December with her, celebrating the Christmas season!

 Life is so good.

 The scene of what just happened at the Crown Arcade doesn't leave my mind. "We'll go shopping!" she said to me, "And bake Christmas cookies! And decorate a Christmas tree! We can even make homemade ornaments too if you want. Have you ever strung popcorn before? I usually eat it before we can put in on the tree!"

 I laugh to myself, and as a result, turn a couple of heads. I couldn't care less. I really am in love with Usagi!

 ~*~*~

 I feel like a giggly schoolgirl. I've began to catch myself humming Christmas carols. They're quite catchy, aren't they? Suddenly, I love them!

I dance around like an idiot to my humming… thank God I live alone and no one else can see me. I swipe a comb off of my dresser and pull it through my hair, bobbing up and down in front of the mirror. "Oooh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaay! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh, HEY!" I dance over to my closet, pulling out one of my jackets, a pair of gloves, and a hat. "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." and I start humming again. Who knew I actually knew the words to some of these songs?

 I look at the clock. It's only 9:30?! I have to wait for a whole hour and a half before I see Usagi! What the hell should I do 'til then?!

 I look around as I stop humming, place my hands on my hips, and glance around my room. I head out into the hall and go into the kitchen. Clean. Living room? Clean. Bathroom? ...I don't care if it's not clean, I ain't cleanin' no bathroom before I go and see Usagi!

 I carelessly flip over the back of my couch onto the cushions, pulling the remote control out from under me and turn on the TV. Oh yeah, this'll make the time go quickly. Yeah, right.

I stare blankly at the TV, my thoughts involving only Usagi in them. I can't help but smile...she's so wonderful! I hug one of my couch pillows close to my chest as the butterflies whip around my stomach again.

What seemed like an hour later only turned out to be 10 minutes, according to my clock. "Damn!" I cry, rolling over and facing the back of my couch. It would be a long wait.

~*~*~

Finally, after what seems like a year, I decide to just leave twenty minutes before I really have to. I need to get out of my house before I do something drastic.

Because I have a while and Usagi's usually late for everything anyway, I take my time walking down to the Arcade. Okay, that's a lie... I practically sprint.

So I get there 15 minutes early… who cares? I can talk with Motoki, but should I tell him about my newfound love for Usagi? I debate the idea in my head. I know that he would say something along the lines of "I told you so!" and I'd never hear the end of it. But on the other hand, I'm sure he would be happy for me and show me a ton of support. That's just how Motoki is. For some reason, though, my instincts tell me not to tell him about my crush. For now, I'll just keep it to myself. If anyone has to know, I want it to be Usagi, and I don't want her to find out about it from Motoki.

I stumble into Crown, wrapping my arms tightly around my body in a desperate attempt to warm myself up. It sure has been getting cold these past few days! I look around the arcade as I make my way to my usual seat. When I look to see if Motoki's serving anyone, my heart leaps.

Usagi's here already!

Oh, why didn't I get here sooner?! I wonder how long she's been here. She already has her milkshake and is happily indulged in it while she's talking to Motoki. I walk over to them quickly.

"Hey guys!" I say happily. They both smile and say hello. I turn to Usagi. "Ready for... what is it you have planned for today, anyway?"

Usagi smiles, and both her eyes and my heart light up. "Why, the mall of course!" she exclaims, "This way, we can shop for whoever you need to shop for and get you a bunch of fun new Christmas ornaments! I was thinking we could just go to a bunch of different stores along the street, but it's much too cold to jump from place to place outside. The mall will probably be packed, but at least we'll be warm, right?"

I smile and nod as Motoki hands me the hot chocolate I haven't even ordered yet. "Thanks," I say to him. It feels good to be in the company of your best friend and your crush.

~*~*~

After we had both finished our drinks we said goodbye to Motoki and set off. My best buddy seemed really surprised that the two of us would be spending the day together, but I couldn't be happier as we walk down the street toward the mall.

"It is so cooold!" Usagi cries, running her hands up and down her sleeves. Oh, how I would love to just wrap my arms around her and keep her warm right now...

"Here," I say, sliding my own jacket down my arms. It was damn cold, but at least Usagi would be okay. I drape it over her shoulders, but she looks up at me with upset eyes.

"Mamoru! It's way too cold for you to be without a jacket!"

"Who are you, my mother?" I ask with a chuckle, "I'll be fine, I promise. Just keep warm."

But by the time we get to the mall I think I'm going to go into hypothermia. I'm so grateful once we get into the warm building that I almost cry. My nose certainly cries; the drastic change of cold to hot makes it start running uncontrollably. How attractive to Usagi, I'm sure.

"So," I sniffle, "where to first?"

Usagi takes off my coat and hands it to me with a thank you, and I don't hesitate putting it back on. I follow her into a Hallmark-type store, full of Christmas decorations and small gifts.

"This is a great place to start!" she exclaims, as if she's the expert on Christmas, "Do you have any decorations at your house already?" I shake my head and she frowns. "Okay... let's start with lights and tree decorations!"

She leads me to a long aisle of different colored Christmas lights. She points out which ones she likes, and I pick some white ones out of her selection. As we're looking at the different ornaments, I think about what we're going to do with all of this stuff.

Wait a minute.

A million thoughts flood into my mind all at once. We're getting Christmas tree ornaments. They go on Christmas trees. Therefore, we have to get a Christmas tree… and bring it back to my place. She said she'd help me decorate my tree. She's… we're going back to my place together! After we get the tree! Alone! I should have made sure the bathroom was clean!

I'm dizzy with excitement and adrenaline. Soon, Usagi and I would be in my apartment… and hopefully, that would be the best time to confess to her how much I love her.