I watched movies all day making sure my phone was turned off bc I don't wanna deal with anyone right now I aventually fell asleep around 1am watching stranger stranger things
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I woke up to someone shaking me
" omg Reagan wake uuuuupp" someone said I opened my eyes to see Payton
" whaaaat" I asked dragging the a out and pushing his hand away from shaking me
" what happend yesterday " he asked
" nothing payton go away" I said annoyed tired
" tell me now ray" he said using my nickname only he uses
"Fiiiiiinnne" I siad sitting up
" ok go on" he said sitting beside me
" well me and cole say beside each other and u remember him my middle school crush and friend well yea and joey supposedly got jealous and started acting like a stuck up bitch so acted like one back and told him what he needed to hear" I said
" he needed that" he siad
"I guess" I siad looking over t Payton
" look Reagan I love you so much and he doesn't see that so that means he don't deserve u " he said looking into my eyes as I shrugged
" idk" I said looking down
"But u do know. You think you like him and yea maybe u do but u two won't end up together I just know it" he siad pulling my chin to look up at him
" Payton I like 2 ppl" I said as my eyes got glossy
" ra don't cry I hate seeing u sad" he said pulling me into a hug
" im sry, I'm so sry Payton for everything I've put u through I love you so much and I don't know what to do I like two ppl" I said breaking down in his arms
" just look at it like this. Joey has hurt u in so many ways and u need to figure out if I can trust him and does he make u laugh or smile and then whoever the other person is then do the same to see if u can trust them. if its the simple things that one of them do to make u smile or laugh then that's when u know u love them and if there always happy when their with u then they most likely like u to " he said
Wow Payton gives good advise
" Payton can I just have the weekend to think by myself " I asked
" of course I'll leave love you tho" he said kissing my forehand and walking away
" love you to" I said laying back in bed" wow I love Payton
I sat there about 5 mins thinking about my life and the choices I've made. I've made so many mistakes I just want to die it won't matter to anyone
Reagan-wait pyton I love you. This is my last goodbye and love you plz tell everyone I love them and see them soon. (Not dileverd)
I walked into the bathroom and got a razor I put it to my skin and cut deep it kept getting deeper till all the thoughts came back
Me and Payton kissing. He wants me I want him we love each other he would be so sad for so long is I died especially suicid but before i could pull it out I fell I passed out
Payton's pov
I was walking down the street when I suddenly forgot to give Reagan's gift I have for her so I started walking when something came to mind it told me to run to her house like she needed me idk why I listened but I did I ran to her house and was back in about 2 mins I walked up to her room I didn't see her I knocked on her bathroom door when it swung open I seen Reagan on the floor with blood all over her wrist and up her arm omg I started to panic I instantly called 911
They'll be here in like 5 mins I picked her up and put my hoodie over her wrist cut I walked over to her bed I st down with her in my arms
"I love you so much Reagan" I said crying
" I fucking love you and there's nothing that could ever change that if I was here and didn't leave you and never listened to u when u said to leave this would've never happend I could've talked to u about other things that wouldn't have made u sad I'm such a fucking idiot I love you Reagan ur the most beautifulest person in the world and if I lose you I'll never be the same but don't worry I won't let that happen you'll be alive I've got u" I said as I pulled her closer to my chest crying
Goddamit why did I let this happen
They FINNALY arrived and took her into a ambulance
" sir can u come she's gonna wanna see you when she wakes up" a man said that looked about in his 40's I guess
" yea anything I need to do for her" I said following him
" she's lucky u found her" he said
" yea I hope she's fine" I said
" she should be but she'll be asleep for abou another 2/3 hours" he said
" ok sounds fine I guess" I said as he showed me where to sit in the back I sat down and they shut the doors I grabbed her hand and sat there crying thinking about all the things we've done in the 6 years we've been friends we even had a relationship and a fake one we finnaly arrived and they pushed her in on the bed as I followed
Ok wow what a chapter
