Bass Case

Chapter 16: Turning Point

Tension.

Sarah looks at the ground, grinding her teeth in anticipation of what I would have to say, but I say nothing. All I do is stare at her. She looks up at me in shame. "I had to do it. She wouldn't listen otherwise. You understand right Daniel?" Her eyes are narrowed, and her eyebrows look strained.

I bite my cheek, searching for what to say. I cross my arms. Of course I understand why she did it, but I would never pull something like that to force her to leave. Would she have done the same to me if I had refused to leave as well? I nod. "Well yeah I understand why you did it, but that's still not right Sarah."

She looks mildly taken aback from my disagreement. She waves her hands out in front of her with her palms facing up protesting, "Well what else was I suppose to do, Daniel?" 

"Sarah, it's her choice. Not yours. If she really does not want to go you can't force her." I retort.

"Really? What if I didn't want to leave and you knew I would likely die if I stayed? You would just let me stay? Not even try to convince me?" She questions, hurt and frustration filling her brown eyes.

"Sarah, you know I would try to convince you." I try to take her hands in mine, but she swipes them away. "If you wanted to stay Sarah, I would stay with you. If you wanted to leave, I would follow you, always. I don't care what I want. I love you. I can't control you though. If it were the same situation for me would you have sabotaged me as well? Even if you knew that it would devastate me and possibly lead me to quit all together if I failed?" She remains silent for a long time, clenching her jaw shut in thought. "You would...Wouldn't you?"

"I would do it because I love you. I would rather you hated me rather than end up dead because I didn't do everything I possibly could to stop you." Her lips begin to tremble, and a shield of water forms over her eyes. She crosses her arms, hugging herself as she curls in on herself, clenching her teeth. She looks up at me in pain and in shame, yet she lacks regret as well. "If I had taken your method, and something were to happen to me, would you not feel regret that you could have done more?"

Now I am the one who is silent. My mouth hangs open slightly, failing to release the words from my mind. Of course I would...I would feel awful if anything ever happened to you and I wasn't able to prevent it. That's the whole reason I want to stay with you! To protect you! Sarah looks away in pain and begins to head towards her room. Suddenly I panic and reach for her, but she swats me away. "Sarah!" Just as she reaches her door and attempts to slam it shut I halt the motion with my hand. My hand vibrates from the force of the door, but I manage to keep it cracked open; I push it forward slowly. "Sarah. Do you really think I wouldn't feel regret? Of course I would!" I try to peak in, but she remains unyielding in her strength to keep me out. Then I press my head to the door just as she manages to close it. "I can't let what happened to Anika happen to you, too... Anika....I loved her, too." I can feel my throat close tightly and my eyes grow blurry from the shield of water forming. I watch as the white door blends into a swirly mesh. "She was always kind to me, and she always pushed me to keep going even when I was falling behind. I always thought that she'd be there... When I saw her, lifeless, in that bass case, I felt so much regret. How could I have not heard her? How could I have not wondered where she was? Was there anything that I could have done to save her...?" Suddenly I let out a deep snorted breath as I try to contain myself in failure. I place both of my palms against her door with my forehead still pressed against it and cry. "If the same thing were to happen to you Sarah, I would never be able to live with myself! I love you more than anything! I love you and Angelica both! I just want to keep you guys safe, but I can't control you guys either..."

I hear the doorknob click as it's interior workings detach from the wall. I can feel my head falling forward, and the door pulls away. I look up to see Sarah's own tear stained face met with mine. Her eyes are puffy, and her face is flushed from her tears. We watch each other for a moment steadily, not wanting to harm the other any further. She grabs my hand and leads me into her plain room, closing the door behind us. Then she wraps her arms around my neck, embracing me tighter than she ever has before, sobbing, "I'm sorry, Daniel."