angels... (use to be maybe..)

the devil was once an angel

**2 weeks later**

I havnt heard from the boys in two weeks. I was so angry at jai. I was so scared and when he kissed me I was relieved but mad as a leprechaun that just got its gold stolen. my phone buzzes and I look over to see jai calling. I dont answer I've been ignoring his calls. I so pissed off its scary. my poor brother Has to deal with jai trying to visit... or should I say poor jai. NO he hurt you so tanni hurts him.. 'this isn't fare for jai and you love him' my inner voice trys to convince me 'he saved you' "fuck up" I mumble while looking down just thinking. I walk over to my iPhone dock and plug my phone in and put fucking perfect on repeat. I walk over to my bathroom and it hits me. my dad is dead. my love is dead to. I miss him so much and I havnt been to our tree in months. he's gonna hate me. I close my bathroom door and slide Down the wall burying my head in my knees crying. everythings so fucked up. I look over at the cabinet above the sink and get up. I take out the razors and sit crossed legged on the floor. "good bye pain" a tear drips down my face as I cut across my wrist 5 times. I feel all my hate, love, pain, blood ooze out of me. I lie there thinking about jai, dad and life in particular. what is life? why am I hear? am I worthy of being alive? ugh I'm the biggest slit out there! why can't I be pretty, smart, normal like the other girls in my grade. I lay there crying Untill I have to stop the blood. I get up and put pressure on my wrist. once the blood stopped I went out and went through twitter. there was so much hate. go die In a hole slut. your not worthy of being on this earth. slut slut Slutty slut slut. fuck you. fat slag. the janoskians are just using you slut. I cried into my pillow and one caught my eye. your parents killed themselves because of you, your a fucking slut and they couldn't handle the attention seeking who're in their life so they took the easy way out, fucking worthless grunch. I went motionless from this comment and realised it was my fault. all of this. my muffled pillow scream caught the attention to tanni. "baby girl" he walked over and cradled me in his arms "its gonna be ok" he hummed into my hair. "i have to go" I swallowed and ran over to my phone and grabbed paper a pen and my speakers running out the door.

cliff hanger literally.. well you will get it in the next chapter... >;) can some one comment to let me know u guys are reading before I upload the next chapter. mwa xx