Every day since the day it started the weight only got heavier. I kept pulling it around not knowing that it was a burden and not letting go of the fact that I can't get the truth that I need and want. But when it all began I didn't even know what was happening and as I got smarter and older I took it in and realized what was going on right before me that makes my throat go dry and sore after the many screams I have screamed out in a desperate call for help that no one could help me with. The wound only got deeper as I drew out more blood and kept losing my insanity that keeps me sane. The deep breaths I take only fill my lungs up with water as I just realize that it is too late and I am already drowning as I sink deeper into the deep depths of my deteriorating mind. The weight I hold drags me down deeper as I still hold on and fight against the current but I can only fight for so long and battle so hard until I give up. I keep a firm grip on the weight, still waiting, still in pain, still wanting what I have forever longed for. The memories swirl around my head like a tornado, sweeping away all good memories from me leaving with only reasons that can just bury me deeper into my own grave. My breaths get deeper and fill me with more hate and cover half of my heart that should be more room for love. My dreams shatter under the pressure of the hate and sorrow that fills me to the brim, love only a little, being afraid that if you trust someone else again with your dark secrets that they might let you go to into the crashing waves of tears that you depended on that one person to always help you up so you wouldn't fall into the canyon of bad dreams and memories that haunt you day and night. But, you see, I fell into that canyon right away. The bottle of all my thoughts that I won't tell anyone else to stays in my firm grip. The thoughts keep piling up until I reach for another bottle that I can't find because I am too deep in my own tears. So now the bottle begins to overflow so now I hold the top of it so my thoughts won't spill out, afraid if I tell anyone they will take advantage. So I build a wall, one that no one can get across to me and my broken heart that I wish to mend faster than I already am. I remember, the bottle slips out of my hand and floats to the top of the hurt and through the violent storm of my mind as it makes it's way across my river of tears. I feel. But I only feel the pain. I don't see any of the glory that awaits on the other side of my barrier.
~Windfeather1~
YOU ARE READING
Connecting/Thoughts
Non-Fiction⚠ Warning ⚠ Some of the things I write here are sad and may influence some bad thoughts or trigger something. I wrote this because these thoughts I write down here can connect to probably a lot of people out there. People are going through hard thin...
