Famous Last Words

You See Me Creeping Up These Halls

"It was a dream, Mikes, just a dream, it's ok."

I pulled back from his embrace. After everything I'd experienced so far, after what Bob had told us, I just couldn't believe he was still insisting I was making all of this all up. My tears dried up in an instant, but the stress of the incident leaving me struggling to breathe.

"Why won't you believe me," I hiccupped through the simple question; I must have sounded like a small child after a crying fit.
"Mikey, I do believe you, I do, but..."
"I want to go home, Gee," I softly whispered into his shoulder.
"Mikes, the album..." he stammered, pulling back and looking into my bloodshot eyes. "We can't stop now. We've put our hearts and souls into it."
"And I'm losing my soul in this house!" I snapped, shocked at his response. How could he choose work over family?
"Well, where's your heart, then?" he almost growled.
"Don't make me hate you, Gee," I pleaded.

From the look on his face, my words seemed to make him think about what he was asking me to do.

"Are... Are you saying that you won't be able to forgive me if I ask you to stay?"

I gathered myself together as best I could and looked at him directly in the eyes - it was important that he understood how serious I was.

"What I'm saying is, there's nothing you can say that'll stop me going home."

I could see it in his eyes - the conflict. Torn between sympathy and anger. He loved me but I was ruining the album. I had no idea in that moment which would win out.

"Gee, you have to get your head out of the sand!"

I turned my head and stared open mouthed at Frank, and without even looking, I knew that Gerard had done the same.

"He's not a kid afraid of the dark, Gee..."
"I didn't say he was!" Gerard interrupted, snapping angrily at the suggestion.
"You didn't have to say it," Frank spoke in a strangely calming voice, almost forcing Gerard to listen to him.
"It's not what I think either," he replied, all the anger having dropped from his tone.
"But you're pretending it's not happening!"
"I'm not saying it's not real, I'm..."
"Ignoring it? Saying it's something else?"

Gerard's mouth drew into a thin line as he saw where the conversation was going and knowing all too painfully well that Frank was right.

"Putting your head in the sand?" Frank added, repeating his comment from earlier.
"I just don't know what to do," Gerard admitted lowering his head.

This time it was my opportunity to comfort him and I pulled him back into the hug that was so readily offered to me only moments earlier.

"Gee, I know you're scared..."
"I'm not, Mikes, I'm here for you."
"Just admit it!" Ray snapped, irritated by the flow of the conversation.

We all turned and simply stared at him. It was so out of character. Don't get me wrong, Ray can get angry and when he does lose his temper, woe betide the person who got him to that state. But it takes a lot to anger Ray, a lot more than this.

"Ray?"

It was Frank that finally spoke up.

"Mikey's not the only one being affected by all this."
"I know," Gerard nodded. "Bob told us..."
"Not Bob."
"Frank, please," Ray's voice was small and he had half turned away. "It was a dream, just a dream."
"Ray, that was no dream!"
"What happened?" Gerard asked anxiously.
"Frank, no," Ray warned.

Frank sighed. I could tell that Ray really didn't want the story told. I wasn't sure if it was to stop me being afraid or because he was embarrassed. Either way, he wanted to Frank to shut up and he really looked as though he might actually make him.