I'm here too

Do you ever feel like a weight is being pressed down on your head? It takes control of your body and drags you around; tells you what to do. You can't go out. Why would you want everyone to think you're a miserable little idiot? Well you are. Does no one seem to care? No one notices. Or if they do, you say 'I'm fine', when in reality you've never been this bad. Why do this? Because its so much easier to pretend like everything is fine, rather than having to explain what's wrong. What if no one understand?

This continues for a month or two. You look down, people ask if you're okay, you say 'yes' and so on. Then you can't take it anymore. You're being led down a deadly road called self-harm. It's pretty at first. Makes you forget your misery. The trees engulf you and the road is smooth and straight. You know where you're going, what you're going to do next. Life feels okay. Bearable.

Until...

You look at yourself and see a body covered in scars and in so much pain. The pain is in your eyes, you feel it in your head. Your whole body is aching, begging for a break. You go to school, the scars covering your arms; you hide them but you secretly wish someone would notice. Help you. The road you started down is no longer straight and simple. It has sharp bends which jump out of nowhere. The trees are no longer trees: they are thorn bushes. They are needles in your skin.

Life gets worse, but moves on and continues as normal around you. You are distant and suffering in silence. You act as if nothing is wrong. You contemplate committing suicide. But you can't. What would it do to your friends and family? It would destroy them, make them feel so guilty. What did they do wrong? They are the only people keeping you alive. You are doing it for them, not yourself.

More time passes. You are still on that narrowing road filled with twists and turns. The thorn bushes are no longer bushes. They are vines twisting around your body. Slowly suffocating you; wrapping around your neck. Cutting off your oxygen, your blood flow. You struggle for breath. You struggle to breathe. You struggle for life. The noose is tightening around your neck.

It's time. 

You could stop this. Step off the chair and untie the rope from around your neck. Do you want to? Yes. Wait. No. No one wants you here. No one cares. If they did, they would've noticed you're dying on the inside. Now on the outside too.

You kick the chair out from under you. The rope stretches, tightens and then pulls the life force from you. You are gone. All the pain is over. Now it starts for all your friends and family. What if they go down the nice smooth and straight road that you went down? But it turns into thorn bushes and eventually vines. What if they're standing on that chair waiting to kick it out from underneath them? And the cycle continues. All because one person didn't speak out about how they were feeling and kept smiling.

Check in on your friends and family. Often the ones that are smiling the most are the least happy. They could be lying.