Delicate Beauty (Mateo love story)

Chapter Eighteen*Edited*

"What's this?" Angelica hums in response as she straightens up and glances to Jason who is lay on her bed. Her eyes widen as she glances once more to him. "Where did you find that?" she furrows her brows and snatches the note out of his grasp, being sure to protect it from any damage.

"It was in your dresser. What is it? Looks like an old love note to me." Angelica sighs as her fingers grace softly over the page, her heart sinking as she scans over the words.

My Dearest Angelica,

No words could ever describe to you how sorry I truly am. You are all I aspire to be, you are kind, strong and beautiful; both inside you and out. You taught me how to care for someone, how to want to be better for the sake of another. I can never ask you to wait for me, I don't even know if I will ever be able to return to my home, Benidorm. I do ask that you don't settle for anything less than amazing, don't let anyone hurt you. You are my Angelica, forever my Angelica. But I know that I cannot have you to myself anymore.
I am a coward for never having the courage to tell you to your angelic face, but I will write it now for you to read.
I love you Angelica Conroy, and I will continue to love you until the day I draw my last breath.
Always yours,
Mateo.
Xx

"What have I told you about going through my things?" Jason shrugs and stands before wrapping an arm around her waist. "That I can because I'm the most amazing boyfriend in the world". Angelica shakes her head at him with a smile, "I don't think I ever said that, I was brought up not to tell lies."

Her eyes meet his icy blue ones, they are beautiful in an average kind of way. She feels no excitement looking into them, her heart never falters in beating at its normal rate. She knew deep down that this relationship was a weak attempt at trying to get over Mateo leaving, and boy was it failing her. It's been seven months since Mateo left, and though Angelica had visited Liam in Alicante many times, she had never brought up Mateo or tried to visit him wherever he was.

The first few months had been the hardest, they were the times she kept her hope for his return. His letter had told her the three words she needed to hear, and though they were spoken in her voice as she read the letter aloud, it still meant everything that they were coming from his heart. However, she gave up any hope that he would suddenly return by the fifth month, she became fed up of waiting for something that could inevitable never happen for her. She knew that she had to move on with her life and so she did just that.

She had only known Jason for a couple of weeks by the time he asked her out on a proper date, and though part of her knew she was far from ready. The other part, the part that needed to move on accepted the invite with confidence. Now, by the seventh month, she and Jason were somewhat of an item. It was far from the feeling she got when she had spent those months with Mateo, but she had to be patient, her heart was still going through the healing process.

"What are you thinking about?" his eyes spark with something she couldn't read, "just things. I have to get to the salon. My first client should be there soon, plus you have to start your shift behind the bar." He smiles nodding "yeah, can't lose my new job after only a week, can I?" Angelica smiles shaking her head "no, you can't" his hand reaches up to cup her face as his lips meet hers. The movement itself was missing something for Angelica, it felt like she was kissing a good friend rather than a lover.

She mentally scolds herself, she had to stop comparing Jason to Mateo. She even compared their accents. She knew it wouldn't be fair to Jason if she based their current relationship off the crazy and exciting relationship she shared with Mateo. Nothing could possibly compare to that. The two exit the apartment hand in hand, silence enveloping them as they make their way across the road and to the Solana.

"Morning pet, how you feeling?" Angelica grins as she releases Jason's hand, kisses his cheek and watches him leave for his shift. "I'm good, how are you?" she softly sighs as she focuses her attention on her father. He smiles "I'm Good, but I'm more concerned about you" his soft eyes meet hers as she frowns, she should have known he would see through her happy facade.

"I'm just feeling unsure of Jason and our relationship. I keep comparing him to Mateo" she admits as her eyes meet the floor and she shakes her head feeling guilt consume her.

"Angel, a relationship has to feel special. There should always be an element of excitement and thrill. If your questioning the relationship then maybe it's not for you to maintain. Maybe you're not ready to move on just yet, and that's fine." he reaches forward to lift her chin so her eyes meet his "love is hard to let go of, especially when it is as deep as yours and Mateos."

*****

It had been a couple of hours since Angelica had spoken with her father, her head was completely at war with her heart. She cared for Jason and enjoyed his company most of the time. She didn't want to give up on the growth of their new relationship just yet, even if it lacked the excitement she craved.

Her heart screamed the opposite, she knew deep in her soul that she could never love Jason the way she loves Mateo. Her heart hadn't let go of the greasy barman that had stolen her complete attention from the moment they met. She still held a small flicker of hope that Mateo would appear out of nowhere and they would continue from where things had left off.

"She is taking the piss now" Angelica turns to Leslie as she walks into the salon, "that poor young girl has worked her fingers to the bone today, she is a great grafter." Angelica frowns as Kenneth rolls his eyes and speaks.

"What's your point, Leslie?"

"That Temple-Savage is so taken with that sleazy, lazy man that she is probably going to go with him. It's a shame really because she would be a great addition to the staff."

Angelica nods in understanding "I'm sure she'll choose wisely, dad."

Leslie nods, "I hope so" his eyes fall to the empty salon with a frown. "no clients?"

Angelica shakes her head "no, Kenneth is closing shop early today" she smiles as Leslie grins.

"Good, you can come join me for a drink at the bar then."

"Have you decided what you're going to do yet" Leslie smiles over at Jason from across the bar before looking back to Angelica. A frown falls on her face as she shakes her head. "I'm so confused, I can't spend my whole life hoping and waiting for someone to come back into my life when in reality, it may never happen."

"Trust you heart pet, your heart will always speak the truth and in the end, the truth is all that matters."