Hope and Darkness

Epilogue

Epilogue- Megan

I'm sitting here on the porch swing with my family here on a beach house on the California coast that Toby and I rented for a week long trip for our family.I thank God for this beautiful orange,red,maroon,purple,pink and yellow sunset along the peaceful glistening waves.I pray to God thanking him for an amazing loving husband who has always been there by my side and for our two beautiful kids Tara and Kyle who are growing up so fast that we love so much.Yet to adopting Mavis and having her become our adoptive daughter who we love so much.I feel so blessed to have her as part of our family.It broke my heart seeing her mourn and lose her parents,and learning to heal through that. Yet to be able to take care of her. To help her feel safe again.It breaks my heart at her losing her sight and having to learn to do everything blind.I'm grateful to be able to be there for her emotionally,spiritually and physically. Toby and the kids have been so helpful to her. Bella who is Mavis's guide dog is so helpful and the kids love her.I believe God has good plans for each of my kids including Mavis.Someday she will see her parents in heaven again.God and her parents have been watching over her.

"I'm ready to let go mom," Mavis tells me as she lays her head in my lap.

"That's great Hun.Just give it up to God,"I tell her wiping away the tears that are rolling down her face.I see God's presence surround her as she lets go.

"I love you mom,"She tells me as she cuddles closer to me and Tara who is falling asleep cuddles closer to me also.

"I love you too,"I say to each of them planting a kiss on their foreheads. I thank God for an amazing loving family who I love so much and for this beautiful sunset he is painting for us to enjoy.

Epilogue -Mavis

It's summer finally and we are staying at a beach house in the California coast. Sadly I lost all of my sight last spring which has been really hard.I finished my first year at the school for the blind.We are all sitting on the porch swing watching the sunset together as a family.It's hard not seeing it,but Aunt Megan describes everything to me.It's the first time I've been to the ocean.I feel so blessed to have an amazing adoptive family. I will never be able to thank Aunt Megan enough for all her support and love. I wouldn't of been able to get through everything without her support and love. God was watching over me and my parents that day. It's so scary not having my sight and losing my independence having to rely on mom for everything.Though she and my adoptive family have been so helpful. God put her in my life for a special reason. I miss my parents and I still get flashbacks,but I pray to God everyday to help me through it. Being in the Landing has been a great place to help me learn to trust God and move on.

"I'm ready to let go,"I say to mom. Realizing I want to let go of everything I went through and give it up to God.

"That's great Hun.Just give it up to God,"mom tells me as I lay my head in her lap while she brushes the tears rolling down my face.

"I love you mom,"I say to her feeling peace surround me as I listen to the gentle waves of the ocean.I feel God lift me up and feel my parents up in heaven tell me everything will be okay.

"I love you too Mavis,"She replied planting a kiss on my forehead,as I cuddled closer to her and Tara.

I thank God for being here with my new loving adoptive family.To have two new siblings,a great stepdad and for Aunt Megan to become a second mom to me.I thank God for me to be safe and sound.Yet to finally feel free from everything that happened.To be able to enjoy this special moment with them here at the California coast. This summer we also go on a trip to Coeur D'alene. Aunt Megan has some family members who own a cabin over on a farm area and horses. I've always wanted to ride a horse. Though since I lost my sight I didn't think I could. "I tap my can on the ground as I hold onto Bella's leash letting her lead me towards where I will be riding a horse named Rose. She is such amazing guide dog. She graduated last spring as my official guide dog. I can take her everywhere including school. I still live with mom since I'm not allowed to be by myself yet. I'm still learning to do things blind. I also started having more seizures which is really scary at times. Bella let's mom know when I have a seizure or nightmares in the middle of the night. I started seeing a counselor to help me heal emotionally with what happened to me. I'm learning to accept that my sight is gone and relying on mom for help. I still get nightmares every so often though,but she always comforts me. Aunt Megan has always been supporting me and been there for me ever since I met her one summer working with the celebration kids at celebrate recovery at our church. I continue working and helping out with her when she works with the celebration kids Friday nights. I also continue going to the Landing youth group that I went to as a teen.The Landing leaders especially Aunt Meagan and Aunt Tanishia have been supportive in helping me heal and bring be closer to God.

She is a brown horse with a beautiful mane",mom's sister Eleanor describes to me.

Let her sniff your hand first",Mom tells me placing my hand near the horse's nose.

She feels so soft as I pet her soft fur feeling her slick mane. I feel her wet nose tickle me and laugh. They help me climb onto her. "Hold on tight,"Eleanor tells me. "I'm riding a horse,"I say excitedly.

"Yes you are,"Mom says as I can hear her choke up.

Eleanor leads Rose the horse around the fenced in area. "Smile,"Mom says as I hear her take a photo of me.

Mom climbs onto the saddle behind me. I feel her arms hold wrap tight around my waist. I lean back against her feeling thankful to have her as my mom now. I thank God everyday for her adopting me and taking care of me. It's amazing she was Aunt Megan to me and now Mom. It's hard not being able to see her anymore. Being able to hear her sweet voice and feel her close next to me is the next best thing knowing she is still right there beside me. "I love you Mom,"I say to her.

"I love you too sweetheart,"She whispers back to me pulling me closer to her as we sit together on the horse.

"Smile," I hear Eleanor her sister tell us taking a picture of us capturing this special moment with me and mom.