Chapter 14

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may be triggering, not too heavy but i wanna warn, better being safe

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White, it was the first and only thing i saw.
Left, right, up, down, everywhere, white.
Slow pictures moved into the pale madness.
I couldn't make much of it, until my vision got clearer and clearer.
I realised.
It was my mother, staring me dead in the eye, half her face scratched open, bright yellow eyes.
"you've finally come to me...finally" she brought her hand to my cheek and caressed it.
"you know how long i've waited? Waited for you?"
She moved in closer, suddenly, her teeth got pointy and sharp, while she moved out her snake like tongue and wrapped it around my neck.
"so long.." she sissed as she tightened her grip.
I lost consciousness.
I lost everything.
-
"Austin Carlile, can you hear me? If you can please give us a sign"
I can't, i can hear but i can't move my body!
"no response..check his vision"
I felt my eyelid getting opened and closed, repeating that with the other one.
I don't know what's happening, I'm so afraid.
Last thing i know i was bleeding, a lot, it was..gushing, was it because of that? How'd that even-
Oh god.
I did that.
My suicide attempt replayed in my head like it was a movie, it looked horrible.
How could i do that?
How could i do that to myself?
I don't understand.
I'm so lost.
Inside my own body.
-
He came everyday, i didn't know who he was, but he came everyday.
He'd hold my hand, tell me stories which were apparently about us, sing the most beautiful songs, and sometimes he would take a thing with him what he called a "guitar", it made the most Beautiful sounds, i preferred the boys voice.
He always seemed so, calming, like he knew everything would be okay, or at least pretended to give me hope.
I wanted to meet this boy, see him and talk to him like he could with me.
I hope that day was soon.
Very so often, a man and a women would come, and talk to me, they never touched me, I was happy about that, i felt like i didn't like them.
Sometimes these two others guys would come along with the boy, i didn't know their names, i couldn't remember and i could barely keep up with the stories they told me.
Then there was this kinda shady guy, he'd make horrible puns, and inform me about some other guy, who apparently wasn't good news.
Sometimes the boy would hold a small box against my ear, the box could talk, and also sing, it sang the most beautiful songs, i also heard some of that "guitar" stuff come out of the box, what a magical box that must be.
I heard the door open and close, it was probably the boy.
"hi Austin..its me.." the rest became inaudible, why wasn't i allowed to know his name?
I felt his hand slip into mine, and a small kiss being planted on it.
"i was in the mall today, and i was passing hot topic, and as the emo kid i am i walked in, and they have new slipknot shirts! So i bought one for you" i heard some rustling before a thin, soft thing being placed into my chest.
"just about right Hehe" he took my hand and caressed the shirt with it, suddenly, he stopped.
I heard small sobs, i wanted to have the boy as close as possible, but i only had hearing and feeling?!
His grip on my hand tightened and the sobs became louder.
"austie why did you?..why did you do this? I'm so sorry i couldn't be there, I'm so sorry" he buried his head into my chest and sobbed.
I wanted to comfort him, i didn't like it when he was crying, it made me feel so..empty.
I couldn't move, i wanted to move so badly, only for him.
He was all i got.
I felt my arm tingle slightly, i had wiggled my fingers a few times, i wasn't sure if i was ready for my whole arm.
The boy was still sobbing into my chest, i slowly lifted up my arm and placed my hand on his back.
He jumped back, but than realised it was me, he began sobbing even louder.
"I'm..so.proud....of you Austin" he sniffled in between the sobs.
I caressed my thumb across his back.
"i should tell the nurse this, wait i'll be right back" he kissed my forehead and sprinted away.
I was scared, i didn't like this nurse woman, she'd jab sharp things into my arms, and after that i'd feel calm, but not happy calm, it just made me worry more, why was i being calmed?
She'd put a tube in my nose and mouth sometimes, when i felt like i couldn't breath she'd be there with her tubes, it felt really uncomfortable, but if it helped..
One of the sharps in my arms would make the rumbling in my stomach disappear, which was good i think.
I knew the nurse woman was trying to help me, but i didn't like her anyways.
Footsteps were nearing the door and soon someone was touching me and asking all sorts of questions.
"Austin, --- told me you moved your arm, could you do that again?" i tried my best, honestly, but no matter what, i couldn't.
"are you sure he moved?"
"yes a hundred percent!'
She touched the arm i had moved, checked some of the sharp things before sighing loudly.
"i think you should rest a little boy, maybe you just imagined it"
"no no no! I didn't! He moved you hear me! He fucking moved!"
"sir calm down, i know you want him to wake up, our brains can do crazy things to us sometimes.."
"i didn't make it up i swear to god! Austin please!" he took my hand and squeezed it.
"please do it again, for me?"
I felt the tingling sensation again, i slowly raised my forearm while i heard a mixture of gasps and sobs.
The boy cried more, he was sobbing so hard.
Suddenly he Was ripped away from me, the nurse pressed a button and soon two other nurses in the room.
"he moved?"
"yes i saw it with my own eyes!"
"i told you it was fucking real!"
"oh god this is amazing"
"we need to call his parents"
"okay okay" someone walked over to the other side of the room, made a few beeping noises and then told i had moved.
She put the thing down and walked back over, "they'll be here any minute, do you wanna st-"
"yes"
"okay then"
There were no voices anymore, just rustling and walking.
A pair of rushed footsteps broke that silence.
"Austin?? Austin!" why were they always screaming that?
Was i Austin?
"Austin its your dad" i felt something touch my arm.
They touched me.
No.
I couldn't move away, how i wanted that.
I didn't want them to touch me, they had a bad aura, i could feel it.
They say, when you don't have all your senses, the other ones are stronger, i only have hearing, feeling and moving now, which makes my "paranormal" sense stronger.
I had a lot of dreams, they were horrific, filled with horror and gore, i didn't like it.
He removed his hand from my arm, "Austin why?" he cried.
Three pairs of feet walked away from the bed, one was "dad", the other was nurse, i didn't know the last person, they never talked or touched me, why didn't they?
"Austin" the boys voice spoke, He laced his hand together with mine.
"i miss you so much, please wake up soon, i love you" he planted a kiss on my cheek and let go of my hand.
He was gone.
I was alone.
Again.

-Alan's pov-

5 missed calls, i had 5 missed calls from Austin.
This couldn't be good.
I pressed the call icon and heard it ring.
"the user of this phone is not available right now, leave a message after the peep" 
"Austin what's wrong? I'm coming over" i declined the call and ran downstairs.
I pulled on my vans and sprinted out, not caring that it was 3am.
When i finally arrived at his house i climbed up the pipes, broke open his window and hopped in.
I was shocked at what was facing me.
Austin, my Austin, laying on the floor, an empty bottle of liquor and pills next to him, several razorblades and a pocketknife in his hands, a deep red cut, covering the smaller ones, a puddle of blood on the carpet.
I covered my mouth and whimpered while i slowly walked over to him.
I was trying to hold my tears back, how hard it was, i had to do it, for Austin.
The cuts weren't bleeding anymore, he'd lost a lot of blood.
I checked his pulse, still going, softly, but still going.
I had to get him to the hospital!
I opened his bedroom door and ran into his dads room.
Precila screamed as i busted in, Robert looked at me with an angered expression.
"Austin, he, he" Robert hopped out of bed as soon as i mentioned his sons name and ran to his room.
I heard a loud sob and a thud, Robert was kneeling in front of Austin's limp body, sobbing as he looked at him.
"we need to call 911" i said while pulling out my phone and calling them"
"911, what's your emergency?"
"my boyfriend, he, he tried to kill Himself, please help us" i sobbed into the microphone.
"what's the address sir?"
I gave her the address and she said she was sending an ambulance.
"they're coming"
"how could i be so blind?"
I didn't reply, i held my gaze onto Austin, waiting for the paramedics to arrive.

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sorry not sorry

for those who didn't understand: he's basically in a coma

s/o to my girlfriend @sashisnotonfire , she won the contest (she was the only one to enter but okay), i've known her for exactly 9 months today, i love you&happy 9 moths (haha)

cya in the next episode

BROFIST

oh wait this isn't pewdiepie

fuck

cya in the next update

byyaaaa

love, Malene

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