I soak in the tub, my body sore and achy from the progression of my pregnancy. I let out a sigh and let my hair fall from my messy bun and into the bath water. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and trying to find some sense of what happened last night. Have I told Opie yet? Of course, not. I shake my head and assure myself that it was just drunk and lonely Jax talking.
I rub my face and begin to wash my hair, making sure to rinse it clean to get rid of the soap. Once I'm finished cleaning up, I drain the tub and get out of it. I reach for a second towel and quickly dry my hair before reaching for the large clip and clipping it up. I see my fuzzy white robe hanging on the back of the door and I change from my towel into my robe. I begin to moisturize my face and apply whatever other skin care products I use on a daily.
I stand in front of the mirror and catch my reflection. I look to the mirror with confusion, pain and frustration. I shake my head once more and feel my eyes well up with tears. I begin to cry out while alone in the bathroom and I feel myself getting overwhelmed with the whole situation. Who am I supposed to share this new information with? What am I supposed to do with it? Do I tell Opie? My dad? Anyone? Or do I keep it a secret and pretend it never happened and then potentially risk my relationship with Jax? I continue to cry out in the empty house before taking a deep breath and doing my best to relax.
I brush the tears away and begin to sniffle as I open the bathroom door. I hear a footstep and I look down the hall to see Kenny standing there, his one headphone out as he notices me crying. "Is everything okay? I heard someone cry and wasn't sure if I was going crazy or if anyone was home."
I nod, sniffling once more. "I didn't know you were home, I'm sorry, Kenny." I tell the teenager as I look back at him.
"Are you okay? Is everything alright with Dad? The baby?" I chuckle at his questions, and just nod.
"Yes, Kenny, everything's okay. Just the pregnancy hormones." I lie to him, giving him a small smile. "Is Ellie home tonight or is she staying at her friend's again?" I ask him and Kenny shrugs, walking down the hallway towards me and his bedroom.
"She's probably staying at Tiff's." He tells me as he opens his bedroom door. "When's dad coming home?"
I shrug, "I'm not sure. I'm going to get dressed though and I have to go out quickly, but maybe I can bring back pizza or if you want to order something else, I can leave you some cash." I suggest and Kenny nods.
"I say we get pasta, garlic bread and pizza." He says with a smile and I laugh, shaking my head. "You are eating for two, so if we get everything then you'll be happy, the baby will be happy, and I'll be full and happy."
I smirk and playfully shove the teenager. "Thank god I'm not giving you my credit card, or I'd be maxed out with all of your food cravings." I tease him before walking into the bedroom. I walk over to the dresser and grab a pair of leggings, a white long-sleeve and my long, distressed, gray cardigan. I get dressed and slip into my Birkenstocks before walking out of the bedroom and down the hall. I reach for my purse and grab my wallet, taking out some cash before heading back to Kenny's room. I knock on it and peak my head in, cash in my hand. "There's $90. Get enough food for you, your dad and myself. That should be plenty." I tell him.
Kenny nods, "Yeah, yeah. I can get desert too, yeah?"
I chuckle, shaking my head. "If you have enough, you can get whatever your heart desires." I say with a smile, "Can you text your sister to see what her plans are for tonight? That'll help determine how much food we need to order."
I hand Kenny the money and he takes it, "Sounds good. I'll text you to let you know what her plan is." He tells me before giving me a serious look, "You sure you're okay?"
I sigh, nodding. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, kid." And with that, I leave him at home and with the task of ordering everyone dinner.
---
I drive to the cemetery and park in the lot beside it before getting out and walking towards the familiar grave. I have a bouquet of flowers in my hand and I smile down at the stone, feeling my heart ache due to her absence. I lay down the bouquet of daises and tulips before sitting down in front of her gravestone. The warm sun beats down on me, and I feel the warmth on the back of my neck.
I feel my head beginning to spin, not knowing where to start this conversation with my mom. Looking over the writing on her gravestone, I sit in front of it trying to get comfortable. "You ever have your boyfriend's best friend confess his love to you?" I ask her with a small chuckle. "I don't know why I'm laughing because it isn't funny, but yeah, that's my life, Mom. I'm sure you were around to witness this shitshow."
I let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't know what to do, Ma. It just seems so surreal, and things were going so well and then Rick showed up, a porn-star is meddling into everyone's lives, and Jax confesses his love for me. What the hell is going on? Am I overreacting because I'm pregnant? What am I supposed to say? Do I tell Opie?"
I chuckle and shake my head, "Too many questions, I know. I'll slow down." I tell her before taking a deep breath and relaxing myself. "I just, I don't know what to do. Opie and Jax have been best friends their entire lives and I can't even begin to imagine what'll happen when and if I tell Opie. I just, how will he react? Is he going to cut Jax out? Scream at him?"
I move my arms behind me and lean back, easing my back pain. I begin to bite down on the inside of my cheek. I feel the baby move around and I immediately reach to my belly, smiling at the thought of my little person in there, always keeping me company and reminding me of their existence. "I just, I need help mom. I need a sign, I need something. Do I tell Opie?"
"Tell me what?" My heart sinks into my stomach and I turn around to see Opie standing behind me. My eyes widen and I feel my breath get caught in my throat as I stare at the friendly giant, not knowing where to go from here. "What's going on? What do you have to tell me?" He asks as he takes a seat beside me, looking to my mom's headstone and then back to me. "Kenny said you were crying when he got home and that you went out. I figured you came here."
I look back at the man in shock, fear and worry. I don't know what to do, what do I say. I just nod, "Yeah, I had to talk to mom." I just tell him quickly, not wanting him to pry.
"Why were you crying? What do you have to tell me?" I watch as his face tenses up in anxiety, anger and confusion. I feel my heart pound in my chest and my eyebrows furrow together in fear of what may happen.
What am I supposed to do?
---
A short one, but I'm back! What do we think Faith is going to do? Should she tell Opie or should she keep it to herself and pretend like it never happened? How's Opie going to react if she tells him?
