Hermitcraft Book

Grian Lays An Egg

Nobody:
Me: what if grian laid an egg

Contains descriptions of pain and cramps, but there are no graphic depictions of him actually laying the egg.
---
Grian swallowed heavily. He released a groan that climbed sharply up his throat, as he felt viscous cramps near the base of his hips. He raised his blanket clamped tightly into his fist and bit into the cloth as he whimpered in pain.

Stress's brows were scrunched together in concern, as she brought the suffering Brit some tea. Mumbo fidgeted with a bottle of ibuprofen as he sat next to the couch Grian was lying in.

Grian's arms shook as he brought himself up to sit, plodding onto the cushions behind him. Stress helped him bring the cup of hot tea to his mouth, taking care to not spill and burn him.

"It says here that his symptoms match with symptoms of a menstrual cycle." said Iskall, who was glaring at his phone as his leg bounced with unease.

"Does Grian look like a woman to you?" said Stress.

"Ugh, I can't find anything else here. You don't feel constipated or anything, do you?"

Grian groaned in response. "No..." he managed. "Kind of, but i-it's not the same..."

"I see...do you feel like you're going to puke?"

"I have-... for the past two hours..."

"You might have 'diverticulitis'."

"What-ticulitis??"

Iskall breathed out in frustration. "Okay, maybe Google isn't helping..."

"You think?" said Grian. He breathed out, feeling the soothing air of the tea waft through his nose. He took another sip, bringing the cup to his mouth again with the help of Stress.

"I don't suppose a warm bath might help ease the cramps?" said Stress. "Although, if it's this bad, I think you'll just get wet and shiver." Grian glared, letting the tea run down his throat before parting from the smooth edge of the cup.

"Mumbo, can I take the ibuprofen now?" he asked.

"No, Grian, you took some half an hour ago." said Mumbo.

"But it hurts again."

"No."

"Ugh." Grian plodded his head back from where it rested. A mistake, as his head began to pound furiously. "Can I take some aspirin, then?"

"What makes you think that would be a good idea?" Mumbo said, turning to the suffering man beside him. Grian draped his blanket over his face, and huffed. Stress uncovered the blanket.

Another wave of pain surged throughout his abdomen. Grian clutched his stomach tightly in a weak attempt to ease the pain. He hissed through his teeth, and his knees rose slightly, curling up on instinct.

"That's the fourth time that's happened." said Iskall. "This one looks worse."

"Should we call the other Hermits?" Mumbo asked.

"No-" said Grian.

"But look at you!" said Stress. "The three of us alone can't help you like this!"

"I don't...want everyone else to think that s-something's wrong.. I've caused too many problems on this server, haven't I?"

"No, Grian..." Mumbo began.

"Don't start with that!" Grian snapped.

"I..."

Grian buried himself into his blanket. Stress worked on prying it off him, concerned with having him suffocate.

"I'm going to call X." Murmured Iskall, so that only Mumbo could hear.

"Alright. Tell him to get here as soon as possible."

When Iskall so much as breathed into the call, Xisuma blasted through the entrance of Grian's base.

"You called?"

"I..." Iskall stared at him dumbly.

"X, is that you...?" Grian's voice muffled through the blanket. He was startled enough to hear his voice that Stress could finally pull the blanket off him.

"Grian? Are you okay?" said X, concern making his voice climb. He pranced to where the builder sat.

"I...don't worry about me, I'm fine," He said. He tried to make his face as neutral as possible, but he was powerless when pain swirled through his gut in senseless patterns. He dropped his eyes as his breathing became slightly uneven.

Suddenly, he clutched his stomach again, as he felt something drop.

X sighed. "You're obviously not fine, Gri-"

Grian tried to speak, but his voice caught in his throat.

"Grian?"

The builder shifted in his position, and then choked on nothing.

"Grian!?"

Everyone's eyes were wide with concern, fear, and confusion. Grian swallowed, his throat moving. He stared up to Stress and Stress only, with wide fearful eyes.

"Grian, you can hear us, right?" said Stress. Grian nodded.

"I-" Grian's voice was breathy and laboured. He shifted once more, as if he was very uncomfortable.

"Maybe we should take this off you." said X, whose hands reached for his blanket. Before he could pull it off him, Grian clutched it with weak hands and shook his head.

"But you're getting too warm, Grian. And I don't think you have a fever or anything, do you?" X half said to Grian, turning to the other Hermits. Mumbo shook his head.

Grian tried to pull the blanket over him, but X yanked it away.

Stress was the first to spot it. An egg the size of a chicken egg lay below Grian's bottom. Everyone was silent when Grian slowly covered his face with his arms, his face flushed red from embarrassment.

"I knew it was pregnancy related." whispered Iskall.

---

"So... who's the daddy?" said Iskall. The egg was wrapped in cloth and under a lamp.

"...Grian?" said Mumbo.

"No, no, Grian's the mommy." Iskall said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He gave birth to it, remember?"

"Yes, Iskall, we remember." said Stress.

"Good. So, question is, who fucked Grian?"

"You don't..." X covered his face with his palms. "You don't say that, Iskall."

"Do you guys think it was Poultry Man?"

The four Hermits heard Grian shift on the couch, and then sigh. The builder was sound asleep, a relaxed expression on his face.

"I'm assuming this is the first time this has happened." said Stress. "Otherwise, he would have been expecting this and probably wouldn't've told us how he was feeling."

"That's true." said Mumbo. "But let's not ask him about that when he wakes up. It looks like he needs a break."

"Yeah..." said X. "I'm also assuming we can't tell anyone else about this, either?"

"Grian wouldn't like it. Four of his friends just witnessed him laying an egg. Any more than that and I'm pretty sure he'd implode from embarrassment." said Mumbo. "Let's just keep this between us for now."

They all nodded in agreement.

----

When Grian woke up, everyone denied that the egg was his.