I'm awaken suddenly by the sound of a high pitched beep, the sound of my alarm clock. I roll over to shut it off. It's 6:15 AM. I got about three hours of sleep last night.
I haven't been able to sleep ever since he left. I just lay in the dark, on top of my covers, and stare up at the ceiling.
Whenever I close my eyes, I see him. When he left, a part of me died along with him. I can feel tears start to form in my eyes at the thought of him.
I blink the tears away, and brief memories of him shutter across my mind: his beautiful eyes, the cute freckle on his nose, his fluffy hair. It makes my heart ache.
I just wish to hold him one more time, to be wrapped in his warm, reassuring hug. I never had a chance to say goodbye.
I wish I could get lost in a good dream and never wake up. Sometimes I have good dreams, but mostly they are nightmares.
After lying there for twenty minutes, I decide to get ready. I'll regret it later if I don't.
I check my phone on my bedside table. There's already text messages from my friends, in the group text we all share. We have the routine of saying good morning and good night each day.
It's what we do to stick together, because although there's a hole in our friendships now, we know deep down that we need to stick together, to be there for each other.
I scroll through the stream of good morning texts. There's one from Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook, Seokjin, and Yoongi, always the last one to get up.
The seventh "good morning" is missing. It's been missing every day since he left.
"Left" isn't really the best way to put it. It's just my way of coping with the fact that I can't fully comprehend why he did what he did.
I quickly send a good morning text, and immediately the others start replying.
Seokjin: finally, emi ;)
Yoongi: and i thought i slept in late
Jungkook: give her a break guys
Seokjin: just joking around
Hoseok: GOOD MORNING EMI!!!! you slept well?
I can't help but smile to myself at that one. I quick send a text back.
Emi: yeah pretty well actually, thanks :)
It's a lie, but I don't want them to worry about me too much. I feel so guilty, with them all worrying about me, acting like I was the one most affected. Yes, he was my boyfriend, but we were all best friends. We were inseparable, yet none of us saw it coming.
We all blame ourselves, and it's slowly driving us apart, bit by bit.
YOU ARE READING
Eyes Closed | KTH
Fanfiction"I still reach for him, though he's not there." {"I'm afraid to close my eyes. When I do, images of him flit across my eyes. His beaming smile, his bright, innocent eyes. There are still traces of him left behind. I find myself reaching for him, tho...
