Who I see on the other side of the tracks is Taehyung.
No, he's not real. Taehyung is gone.
I tilt my head to the side, trying to understand how I see him standing there. In response, he tilts his head to the side, too, mirroring my movements. His eyes are curious and innocent.
I take a step forward, and so does he. I take a few more steps forward, and he mirrors every step. His innocent expression never falters.
He didn't deserve to die. It's not fair to him. Why should someone who was so selfless die, while I'm here, dragging others down with my mistakes and bad decisions? It should've been me, not him. I could've helped him, if I wasn't so selfish. It's all my fault.
It's all my fault.
It's all my fault. It chants endlessly in the back of my mind, taunting me, so loud that I can't hear the thunderous noise of the trains anymore.
It's all my fault. It chants over, and over, and over again.
I clench my fists to prevent the tears from flowing. My nails dig into my palms, and I'll probably have bruises from it later. Jin will somehow find out and scold me, worried about my well-being, but I don't care.
Hot tears start streaming down my cheeks. I keep taking steps closer, rushing towards him. I'm barely thinking anymore. I just need to get to him, I think, I need to feel him again, touch him. I have to know that he's still here.
Among all the insanity, one dangerous thought lingers.
Why can't the others blame me, so that I can leave them without feeling guilty?
YOU ARE READING
Eyes Closed | KTH
Fanfiction"I still reach for him, though he's not there." {"I'm afraid to close my eyes. When I do, images of him flit across my eyes. His beaming smile, his bright, innocent eyes. There are still traces of him left behind. I find myself reaching for him, tho...
