The consequences of falling

Chapter 5

The next day...

Cafeteria was usually busy this time of day but since the weather was great today most of the workers from their office building opted out to have a launch elsewhere. Sanem was looking out of the window with earning, cursing her fate that she had to stay in because she only had twenty minutes before her meeting with new author, Omer, they signed up this week and ten of those minutes were already gone.

Ayche and Gulun, their junior editor and project assistant, were sitting at Sanem's table and chatting animatedly, discussing Omer's book and Omer personally. Sanem has already regretted asking Ayche about the guy since she'd met him already. Sanem expected to hear some professional notes on Omer's writing approach or how well he reacts to critics – because Sanem had some words to say about the latest Omer's novel – or even how he is as a person. But all her coworkers were interested in telling was about Omer as a man. Words like 'dreamy', 'hot', 'perfect' featured a lot in their description... there was also something about 'piercing eyes' and 'seductive smile' but Sanem wasn't sure because she couldn't bring herself to focus on their chatter which she'd found extremely... well, boring. Also, she couldn't believe that any one man could check all of those boxes... at least, any OTHER man. Sanem knew of ONE man who'd fit the description but there was more to him than just good looks. Sanem also remembered stubbornness and pride, iron-hot anger and unwavering belief that his truth is the only truth there is.

Don't trust the pretty ones, her mom used to say a lot to dissuade young daughters from school boys. Pretty ones will betray you once something more interesting comes along. And there will always be something more interesting right around the corner.

Sanem hated those corners. Wrong turns she took to lose Can's trust – and the ones that made her lose trust in him. For however many times she'd made a mistake – as many times she'd fought to fix it. But him... there was always something else for him. Something he'd cherished more than her. Her scent was more important than her heart, his male ego was more important than her sacrifice, and in the end... his freedom and peace of mind were more important than her shattered soul.

And so he left. Erased her out of his life as if they never happened. Never responded to her emails even though she went through hell stepping over her own pride and writing to him. Never checked on her...

It hurt. Having memories of him, of them – hurt. Trying to erase them, to breathe through them, to keep going – hurt more. Felt like a play she was putting up for the entire world and for herself to convince everybody she was 'fine'. Fake it till you make it, right? And Sanem was fully intent to make it! And to get over him, no matter the cost!

But today... today was just too soon. Sanem was getting irritated with girls' exited planning, especially with Gulun's badly concealed attempts at matchmaking. Both girls were in happy committed relationships and were adamant to get Sanem into one as well. Luckily for Sanem, they still haven't caught the wind of Yigit's interest in his chief editor, else their efforts would've ruined Sanem's workplace for sure. But now it seemed like it will happen anyway since they'd chosen this Omer guy as future Mr.Sanem and were pushing their agenda shamelessly.

Gulun chirped:

- Sanem, girl, you look amazing today! Yellow is so not my color but you just look great in everything! Is there some special occasion?

Sanem straightened few folds on her yellow knee-length skirt with thin blue stripes. Her response was non-committal:

- Just something I borrowed from my sister this morning, we're the same size so...

What Sanem didn't tell them was that she was having a business dinner with Yigit and CEO of competing publishing house today. And even though it was strictly business through and through, her mom still made her to look 'like a grown-up' – which in her mom's vocabulary meant forgoing Sanem's favorite skimpy skirts or baggy trousers – and to 'make an effort for that nice boy' – which meant Yigit. Sanem couldn't care less about 'effort' part but she'd figured looking 'grown-up' wouldn't hurt at the business meeting, so she'd complied.

Ayche tuned in with the compliments:

- Oh, Sanem, dear, Omer will fall head over heels the minute he sees you! You look like every man's dream!

Sanem rolled her eyes with their over-the-top theatrics and tried to reel in some logic into situation:

- Don't you think it would be unprofessional – the relationship between an editor and their author? Isn't it some ethics violation?

Ayche giggled and winked at Sanem:

- It sure is! But it didn't stop me, didn't it?

Oh, right, Sanem almost forgot. Ayche did get involved with new and promising author and had to leave her previous job – but not the author. They were planning for their wedding in June which made Ayche obnoxiously giddy all the time – and a poster girl for workplace romance with happy ending.

Sanem couldn't argue Ayche's logic so she went for defensive:

- Not everybody as lucky as you are. Trust me, our office is not crowded with princes on white horses waiting to swoop us off our feet and ride away to the sunset. Some of us are here just to work!

Sanem made an indentation on 'some of us' hinting heavily she was one of these 'just-working' people – but her friends didn't even listen. They were looking right above Sanem's shoulder, faces dreamy and mouths agape. Gulun whispered something like 'must be something in the water... or like a Gorgeous Magnet somewhere in the building... is he even real?' and Sanem just knew. Without looking, without asking who it was they were marveling at... she just knew.

Sanem braced for impact when familiar voice touched her ear:

- Hello, beautiful...

And familiar scent tickled her nostrils – she knew this scent all too well, she'd made it for him. And familiar warmth enveloped her when she'd felt his body so close behind her as she stood up... And familiar gesture of entwining their fingers together as he'd whispered:

- We need to talk.

And just like that... Can was back in her life. So much for faking it...