The consequences of falling

Chapter 3

Later that evening... someplace else.

- Sanem, it's getting ridiculous! Yigit-bey is a very nice man and I don't see why you don't want to give him a chance!

- Mom, we've been through this! He's my boss, we're working together!

As soon as she said, Sanem knew she'd gone the wrong route. Mavkibe's eyes sparkled with the joy of new ammunition in this long battle:

- That didn't stop you with going out with Can-bey!

- And look how it ended! Nothing good can come out of this, mom, so just forget it!

Mevkibe paled and set on a stool. Her eyes rolled back a little and she sighted melodramatically:

- Why must you hate me so much? Why can't you be like your sister? Have found herself a nice man to be married to, has a respectful job, home in time. What have I ever done wrong for Allah to punish me so much?

Sanem huffed at this performance – she knew her mother all too well to fall for this martyr tactics:

- Mom, I want to focus on my career for now, I also have a respectful job as an editor and I'm also writing a book, so I don't have time for anything like this, ok?

It was Mevkibe's turn to huff – she was very much not impressed with either things Sanem has mentioned, especially the book writing trope:

- Huh, my daughter, the author. I'll turn grey before I see any book of yours on our library shelf, I tell you! You have to be more practical, dear, and go find yourself some happy ending, or else the only romance you'd be hearing about will be in your books!

With that Mevkibe nodded with regal conviction and left the kitchen – no doubt, to go find her older daughter to drill her about upcoming wedding. Or rather, not upcoming as Leyla kept stalling all attempts of both families and fiancé to get any preparations in order.

Sanem rushed to her room hoping for some peace and quiet. But the storm was never outside – she was carrying it with her wherever she went. Constant white noise as if somebody switched the channel of her life to static and instead of living she was just going through the motions.

Sanem was so tired of being... that. She was tired of breathing half-full, smiling half-way, dreaming half-time... missing a half. The half she would never be getting back... as hard as she'd tried her half... he... he'd still left. Hasn't called, hasn't checked on her, hasn't responded to any of her emails... Just left.

Maybe it was silly to dream of albatross. They are migratory birds, after all, never stay in the same place too long and can't be tamed. She offered everything she was – and it wasn't enough. So why was she still holding on to that memory?

With a little bout of courage and determination born of despair, Sanem dialed a phone number. The call was picked up immediately:

- Sanem, good evening! Is everything okay? Do you need any help?

So helpful, so considerate. Two weeks she'd twisted her ankle, so he'd brought her laptop and all her files to her home and insisted she's stay out of the office for as long as she heals. After reports of gang activity near her bus stop, he'd picked up a habit of dropping Sanem off at her doorstep... got invited for a tea by her mother... got unanimous approval of entire aunties squadron... just your classic knight in shining armor!

Sanem chuckled to brake the awkward silence:

- On no, Yigit, I'm fine. I was just wandering... um...

- Yes? What is it? Sanem, you know you can tell me anything...

Sanem exhaled and rushed into her point before she had time to change her wavering mind:

- Yes, Yigit, I know. I wanted to take you up on that offer... you know, book expo... in May, right?

- Really?! Oh, Sanem, it's amazing! New York is beautiful this time of year! You won't regret it! You'll get to meet authors I want to bring to Turkish market, go to creative writing workshops, exchange ideas with some of the most brilliant minds in today's world...

He kept talking about details... about expediting her visa – his family were friends with American ambassador – and about Central Park and Broadway and 'best pizza in the worlds'... Sanem barely registered his voice while Yigit continued to plan their visit to BookExpo next month. Her mind was occupied with one thought only... Can is supposed to come back the same week she'd be gone. Will he notice she's not there? Will he care?