Hugo Garland didn't speak. Not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to. He used to speak, a long time ago, in what felt like another life, but it had been years since he uttered a word. Therapists said it was his own choice, a response to what had happened to him in his life.
It didn't matter too much to Hugo. He was able to go through life without having to speak. His university classes were mostly lectures and he didn't talk to any of his classmates. They ignored him and he ignored them. An unspoken mutual agreement that he didn't mind too much. At work, his boss was accommodating. Robert was a friend of his mother's after all, he understood better than most.
If he ever had to communicate with anyone, he would use sign language. His mother was deaf, he'd learned from a young age how to talk to her. The only person he signed to now was his father and his boss, but the former always grew irritated. Hugo was a mute by choice after all, according to his father anyway.
Cold wind stung his face and he sighed. Music blasted from his headphones to his ears, drowning out the noise of the busy university. People walked by him, ignored him as though he were only an obstacle in their paths. Their mouths moved by no sound came out. It was almost as if they were as mute as him. If he pulled off his headphones, the lie would be revealed.
His lecture hall was buried deep within the university campus. It was a long walk from the train station, but he didn't mind it. It gave him more of a chance to think and listen to his music. Classical mostly; he found it relaxing. Anything with too much electronic noise sounded strange in his ears.
His lecturer nodded to him as he entered the room, but he doubted she knew who he was. There were so many of them already sitting down, too many faces to keep track of. As long as he handed his assignments in on time, it didn't matter if she knew who he was. The only time he'd have to talk to her would be to explain he was mute, which wouldn't happen until they had to do group work or oral reports. He hoped that wouldn't be for some time.
He was much older than anyone else in the room. Most first-year university students were around nineteen or twenty, but Hugo was twenty-three. It had taken him a long time to muster the courage to apply for the course. After everything that had happened to him in high school, he hadn't wanted to continue with higher education.
But he still wanted to follow his dream. He wanted to edit novels for a big company. He already did freelance work on the side, but to work for a bigger company, he needed a degree. It was irritating, but he hoped it would be worth it. His father had spent at least a year trying to convince him to go and do his mother proud. It was bribery of a sort, but it had eventually worked.
Both seats on either side of him were empty, which he was grateful for. He panicked when people sat too close to him. It was too tight as if there wasn't enough air. Sometimes when people sat next to him, they would try to talk, and he would flounder and open his mouth like a fish until they eventually turned away. He hated it.
He paid close attention to his lecture. He couldn't afford to drift off as he had in his final year of high school. He'd come so close to failing. He wasn't going to repeat that mistake, not when he'd finally mustered the courage to follow his dreams. Doing what he'd always wanted to do was more important than his fear.
Except, there were days where it felt like he couldn't do it. Days where all he wanted was to stay home in bed and hide away from the world. And there were days where he did exactly that when his father went to work early and wasn't able to check that Hugo had left. He made sure to watch the lectures afterwards online but he found that he wasn't able to pay as much attention to them then.
On the days when his father did catch him, he'd be forced out of bed and out of the house. "You need to go, for your mother and yourself! I don't care how bad you feel. If you aren't sick, then you're going!" he would yell every single time. "You're just being lazy now, Hugo. You don't see me lying around feeling sorry for myself. You should be the same."
YOU ARE READING
Road To Happiness ✔
Romance[LGBTQ+ SLICE OF LIFE/ROMANCE] At the ripe old age of twenty-three, Hugo Garland starts his first year of university. It's terrifying and only adds to the anxiety and depression that has suffocated him for the last five years. But he wants to get b...