Road To Happiness ✔

TWENTY-SEVEN

Trigger Warning: Panic Attacks

Hugo swallowed the rock in his throat and ignored the sinking feeling in his gut. If he couldn't deal with the convention, there was no way he was going to be able to deal with pride. Renee was there with him; it would be fine. If he needed fresh air, no one was going to judge him.

His lecturer had put him down for a couple of editing specific panels, with plenty of time in between to wander around. It was extremely nice of her to do. Hugo had no idea how conventions worked. He probably would have messed it up and gone to something he didn't even want to go to.

Renee had the map in hand, guiding them around the busy exhibition centre and yelling at anyone who dared to shove them around. The more people touched him, the more anxious Hugo got, and while she wasn't the best at helping him, Renee could at least understand that he was very uncomfortable.

She grabbed his hand with her usual gentle smile. He thought back to when they first met, when he thought her smile was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. It still was, he'd just gotten used to seeing it like he'd gotten used to seeing Stefan.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

He took a moment to think about it, eyes drifting to the busy entrance of the exhibition centre. "I think so. I just need to get used to it, I guess," he answered. He wasn't sure if it was the truth, but there was only one way to find out. He'd told his lecturer that he would be there and even if it was only for a few minutes, he had to uphold his promise.

Renee frowned at him but didn't say what she was thinking, even though Hugo wanted her to. "Well, looking at the program, we've got about forty-five minutes before the first panel starts. We could have a look around?" she suggested instead. He nodded at her, not trusting his hands not to tell her that they should just leave.

He'd wanted to come. It had been his choice. He could have easily declined when his lecturer asked, but he'd said yes. There's been a part of him that thought that maybe he was ready. He knew he was getting better, slowly. He was able to get into a relationship and have friends and go out to places that were usually filled with more people than he could handle.

But maybe he was jumping into the deep end with this. There were hundreds upon hundreds of people walking around the centre with him. It wasn't as bad as some of the conventions he'd seen on tv, but there were enough people there that personal space was almost non-existent. With every step he took, someone was close by, knocking into him or just standing a little too close for comfort. If he couldn't handle a convention, he was stupid for thinking that he could handle the pride parade.

He had to do it. If he got too scared and had to leave, then there was no hope for him to go to the pride parade. There would be more people at the parade, staring at him constantly, pushing him around. He would be in the march, there would be people everywhere. How was he supposed to handle something like that?

He let out a groan as someone shoved him to the side. Renee placed her hands on his back to steady him when he stumbled into her. Jolting away from the touch, it took him a moment to realise who it was. He closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath, but the air felt so suffocating.

Renee grabbed his hand again and dragged him away from the busy entrance foyer. Their lecturer stood against a wall, typing on her phone and Hugo pointed her out as soon as he saw her. She looked up when she saw them coming and smiled at them.

"Good to see you both!" she said, although she probably still didn't know that Renee was one of her students. Or maybe she did, Hugo hadn't been paying too much attention to the classes outside of the content. "Super busy today, isn't it?"