TWENTY-ONE

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Neither of them moved when he cried, but he wished they would. He wished Stefan would do what he always did and jump up to look after him. But he'd messed up. It was his fault. He was so stupid, and he was about to lose his only friends because he was a bad drunk.

It felt too similar, except this time he'd done something to warrant losing his friends. He should have known he would lose them again, what else could have possibly happened? He just wanted to be happy for once in his short and awful life and he couldn't even have that. It was his fault. There was no one to blame but him.

But he needed to at least explain himself first and he couldn't do that with Renee staring at him the way she was, like she didn't even care about him all. He tried to fight off the awful things his mind threw at him. Things like she never cared about him in the first place, but he knew that was a lie.

"Can I talk to Stefan alone about it?" he asked.

"Pfft, no," she replied.

"It's got nothing to do with you though."

"Bullshit, I want to know why you went off at your friend for no damn reason."

He let out a groan and wiped at his cheeks. "Because I was drunk and having an anxiety attack, is that good enough for you?" he asked, glaring at her. If he was calmer, he'd never look at her in such a way, but he was so damn angry. He knew even when he asked Stefan to wait until they were done moving that he wasn't going to escape the conversation, but that didn't stop him from being angry about it.

"Renee," Stefan said, his voice calm and collected. "It's alright, I promise. We'll explain it to you when we're done, alright?"

Renee scoffed and stood from the chair. "Whatever, do what you want," she said. "I'm going to go wait for the pizzas to get here." She disappeared from the apartment in a second, the door closing behind her with a thud.

Hugo and Stefan sat in silence for a moment before Hugo finally lifted his hands to explain. "I was extremely drunk," he began, pausing to stare at the floor.

"I noticed," Stefan said.

"Let me explain. I was really drunk and there were a lot of people. I was freaking out. The more I drank, the worse it got. Renee left at some point and it just got worse. She didn't come back. I was alone," he explained, taking a deep breath to calm down. "I had no idea where you were. I hadn't seen you all night. Because I was drunk and anxious I began to think you didn't like me-"

"That's not true!"

"I know, alright? I was drunk and stupid and not having a very good time. I was overwhelmed and I shouldn't have drunk as much as I did. But I did eventually find you and I tried waving you over. You looked at me, or in my direction at least, but you didn't even see me. That was the last straw for my dumbass drunk brain.

"I left and I don't know what happened after that or even how you knew I was out there. But that was why I exploded. Because I was stupid and convinced that you hated me. And it makes it so much worse that I really-" He stopped short, so ready to spill the words but knowing that it would never end well.

Stefan scooted closer to him on the couch and placed a hand on his knee. "Really what?" he asked.

Hugo shook his head. "It doesn't matter," he replied. And it didn't, shouldn't. He couldn't let it matter.

Stefan sighed then and looked down at the ground. "Renee came and told me that she saw you leaving, so I chased after you," he said, looking up at him again. "Hugo, I didn't even know you were at my party. There were so many people constantly trying to talk to me. I don't even think I got around to everyone. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't like you-"

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