Toutes Les Étoiles Dans Le Ciel

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: An Empty Bed

He is one year older than me. I have never met him yet today we are to be tied in soul before God, and because I am a girl I am not allowed to choose my husband but must instead be sold off like a pretty dress. My mother has continuously been hammering the importance of this marriage to my family and this country into my head for the last six months. After King Henry and his son, Edward, my family- the Beauforts- are the heirs to the House of Lancaster, the greatest family in this realm; my fiancé, Edward, is the heir to the House of York, the second-greatest family in England. The Houses of Lancaster and York have once before taken up arms against each other, and this marriage is to spare England of any further squabbles. However, I am sure that York will find a way around our contract and treaty.

My father has been dead for many years and so it is my step-father, Lionel de Welles, who holds my hand and leads me up the aisle to give me away. Mother is sitting in the front row of the small chapel, next to Lady Cecily, Edward's mother. Too soon, my hand is placed in Edward's and my step-father leaves my side to sit next to Richard Duke of York, my new father-in-law.

As the priest says his words, Edward turns his head and looks at me from the corner of his eyes, smiling a little. I keep my gaze fixed on the crucifix statue on the altar, for now I believe my only friend to look out for me is God.

Edward slides the ring onto the third finger of my right hand and we are announced married. The only way I could ever get out of this now is if either of us drop dead. Why did I have to be married to this son of York? His sister, Anne, is already tied to another great Lancastrian family, the Duke of Exeter's. I see how successful that marriage has been at preventing war, so why is there this hope that Edward and I shall be any happier together or our union any more useful?

I do not know who is happier about this marriage: my mother or Edward's father. They both laugh, joke, and chat with everyone! I remain silent for the entire day and do not once glance over to my new husband, who I do not hear say much either. Nobody bothers to talk to me, even though this is my wedding, and I am satisfied enough with that. These celebrations are too frivolous for a ceremony performed before God! Is everything and everyone nowadays obsessed with and ruled by vanity?!

My only respite is the chapel where this union took place. There is no cushion at the altar to make my kneeling in prayer any more comfortable but it is no trouble, for I have had saints' knees since I was twelve. I clasp my hands together and whisper, under my breath, of course, 'pater noster, qui est in caelis, sanctificter nomen tuum...' I do not know how long I am down on my knees, but they begin to ache somewhere during my recital of the third decade. After I pray the rosary, I recite prayers for Our Lady, the Blessèd Virgin Mary, and ask for her to watch over me in my marriage. As is compulsory, I conclude with: 'in nomini Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, Amen,' and cross myself. Then I stand up and rub my slightly-rough knees and turn around to return to to the hall of celebration.

However, I do not leave the chapel. I stand still, frozen on the spot in front of the altar. 'How long have you been here?' I ask softly, remembering that we are in a place of God.

Edward chuckles once. 'Long enough to know that you can recite the Lord's prayer, the entire rosary and five prayers to the Virgin Mary in perfect Latin,' he replies so properly and politely it sounds as if he has rehearsed and learned it by heart. 'So about twenty five minutes.'

'That is not long for me,' I murmur, completely forgetting my original question. 'Perhaps I spoke too quickly.'

'Did you forget to repent your sins?' he suggests. He must be mocking me, but his tone and expression is so serious that I am not entirely sure...