Frostbite: Blood in the Winter// Third Book of The Frost Bite Series.

Memories Regained

We pulled into the driveway of the small house owned by Sam Wilson. It was early morning, so thankfully the neighborhood was somewhat quiet. Steve and I got out of the car and I opened up the back door to gently wake up Natasha. 

I reached over and gently patted her shoulder. "Nat. Nat, wake up." Her eyes slowly opened and she sat up, checking her surroundings.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Somewhere safe," Steve answered.

We walked up to the back sliding door and Steve knocked. Blinds were blocking our view inside of the house, but after a few moments the blinds lifted revealing Sam. He slid open the door and looked at the three of us, we probably looked like three homeless, orphaned children. Our faces covered in dirt and our clothes ragged. 

"Hey, man." Sam greeted, confused.

"I'm sorry about this, but we need a place to lay low." Steve explained.

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us." Natasha added.

"Great way of putting it, Nat." I said sarcastically. 

"Well, not everyone." Sam said before stepping to the side and letting us in. We stood in the kitchen and turned to face Sam. "You guys look rough, if you want to clean up, I've got two showers, one in my bathroom and one in the guest room."

"I'll take the guest bathroom." I volunteered. "I, um, need some time alone to think."

"Right this way." Sam held his arm out, pointing in the direction of the guest room. I followed him down the hall and he stood to the side of the door to the bathroom. "There's towels, soaps, stuff." 

"Thank you, Sam." I nodded and Sam walked back to Nat and Steve.

I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I glanced at myself in the mirror, staring back at me was a broken woman with a dirtied face and frizzed hair. I almost looked like the picture of me in the HYDRA profile. I looked away from the mirror and began to get undressed. 

I kept the water cool as I always had, heat wasn't my best friend.

Flashes of the footage Zola showed us came to my mind as I stared straight ahead and let the shower water run down my body. I hated myself for not remembering, I hated myself for killing innocent people. Another flash came to my head, but it wasn't footage. It was a memory, more than one.

All of my assassinations came to me at once. Shooting someone, stabbing someone, freezing someone to death. A voice came to my head as well.

"снова!" Again.

A pain surged through my body and my hand pressed up against the shower wall.

"больше." More.

Another surge of pain surged through my body and frost spread from my hand and left a patch of frost on the shower wall. 

Then I saw where these voices came from. The words. The pain. 
As punishment for not following through with missions how HYDRA wanted me to, electrocution. As well as the Winter Soldier, that is where I heard the screams from in my nightmares, the agonizing screams were coming from my mission partner. And the words, he had them too. A string of words that were used to brainwash us, turning us into killers. They used mine as a failsafe, a way to suddenly switch my behavior when I wasn't compliant.