One Of The Soldiers

Tired

   As I tried on dresses my friends talked about the dance, talked about Nicandro and me seeing each other again. I had been spending long hours at work, and even though we lived together I would come home late and he would go to bed early because of his new routine he was trying. And at work we never saw each other. I was stuck doing paperwork for weeks, and he was out fighting. Now, if I wanted, I could fight again. 

   Now my friends were talking about us. I didn't say anything and just listened to them talk.

   "I'm sure he'll be glad to see her," Chrystal said.

   "I think he'll be confused and awkward," Maxfield told them.

   I heard Rafael sigh. "Of course he is going to be overjoyed to see her."

   "I dunno," Valdemar, probably taking a drink, left a little pause. "He could be angry."

   "He might be," Chrystal said, sounding a little angry. "But he still cares about her deeply."

   They all started talking at once and I sighed quietly to myself. I looked down at the dress. I took a step out and looked at my friends arguing.

   "What do you think?" I asked loudly.

   They all paused, Chrystal came over and started to gush about the dress. The guys stood still.

   "Well?" I asked.

   "You look good Annora," Maxfield told me. "The dress looks great on you."

   Valdemar nodded and took out a cigarette, "Red is definitely your colour. You look hot."

   We looked at Rafael. He looked at me and when we made eye contact he looked away.

   "You look beautiful, as always." I frowned at Rafael not seeming comfortable.

   I shrugged and looked at Chrystal. "I think this dress will do."

   She nodded. I went back behind the changing wall and changed into my regular clothes.  I walked back out, with everyone talking quietly together. When they saw me they quieted down. 

   "I think I'll head home. Chrystal, when is the dance?" I asked.

   "It's at eight. I can send someone to get you if you want?"

   "Sure." I yawned. "I think I'm gonna try and take a quick nap."

   I took the dress with me and walked out of the room. Slowly I made my way out of the building and towards Nicandro's house. Once I made it I lay the dress on the couch, found my room and flopped onto my bed. I closed my eyes and let my body finally relax, my mind going elsewhere and my consciousness leaving me.

   My dreams were filled with bright flashing colours and loud noises. People passed in my head, laughing at me, talking about me, trying to control me, guessing where and who I was. My feelings kept flipping from angry to happy. Sad to scared to loving. All of this was charted down, and soon my future was guessed, laying in front of me, boring and busy, life threatening and safe. My life was chosen for me. And People began to leave me, one by one, abandoning me.