My cry for help

Recovery

Doctors told us Jordan won't be able to see, walk or be a normal child again. But worst they said he wouldn't make it. They told my mother she should get him baptized . They say when a child dies they don't make it to heaven unless there baptized , so my mother did exactly that , he was baptized by my moms best friends Angie and Evonne .

I would never forget the day I seen him lying in the crib with tubes everywhere And a white bandage wrapped around his head . I wished that it were me fighting for my life and not him , if I could've taken his place I would have in a heart beat , I was afraid that this would be the last time I ever saw him . when something tragic happens to you it's the littlest things that yu seem to worry about , all I thought about was would he laugh again ? Would he remember me ? Would he be the same happy baby he once was .

They say bad things happen to good people and now I knew what they meant because I was living a nightmare , this was only the beginning , this was hell !

Visiting him was the hardest because I couldn't hold him I couldn't carry my brother and let him know this was gonna be okay . my mother sung to him and spoke to him and he looked around for her voice hers was the only voice he recognized . it was so heart breaking to know that my 6 month old brother could no longer see . he had seizures I felt like it was only getting worst .

Social workers came to my house and questioned us because at the time they had no proof who did this to Jordan . I was angry and disgusted in them. did they honestly think my mother or stepdad or even us could possibly do something like this . we love him very much and I hoped they seen that . They weren't the only ones trying to figure out who did this . we all wanted to know who the fuck would do such a horrible thing ! especially to my brother who was always happy , he was innocent n harmless .

I knew my mothers pain I felt it too. My mom wasn't sure if Jordan would make it so she prepared herself for the worst she almost overdosed herself . at first I felt it was selfish because we needed her to we couldn't lose our brother god forbid and than her ! But at the same time I would probably do the same for my kids .