My cry for help

Why ?!

When Jordan first came back home I was so afraid to pick him up. He felt so fragile since his injuries I didn't wanna grab him and by mistake hurt him . he still looked the same but something was different . He didn't laugh , he didn't smile it's as if he knew what happend and wasn't happy . I just looked back at him thinking how lucky we were to still have him , how lucky I am to be his big sister . nothing in this world could come between my love for him .

Jordan had teachers coming to our house to help him learn to talk along with other things . it was like teaching a new born what to do , he didn't know anything it was just so heart breaking to know that he once knew certain things and now here we were trying to help him gain that back.

They didn't see what we saw , my mom tried to convince them he talks , he crawls she tried to make Jordan show them but he cried , he didn't wanna do anything . they probably thought we were making it up .

My moms therapist came and sat on the couch and everytime she came they talked about Jordan , my mom just cried to her expressing her feelings telling her how guilty she feels for what happened . we all knew it wasn't her fault but no matter what she still blamed herself . she felt like she failed at being a mother because she wasn't there to protect him . I wished she'd stop feeling like that ,she suffered from depression took pills to be able to sleep I hated seeing her like this

The mother I once knew was gone. although she was Alive she seemed so lifeless . I thought it would never get better . I feel like Jordan remembered what happened to him because he was terrified of doctors he screamed and cried everytime they touched him. by than Jordan was taking steps but one foot wasn't straight it went sideways . he was paralyzed on one side . it killed me to think about what his future would be like . would he be able to run? play sports? do things other kids were able to do ? although he had a million problems surrounding him he was to young to understand , none of this mattered to him he was a happy little boy and that's all that mattered to us

On march 10th 2012 me and my family went to the park with posters trying to raise awareness for kids like Jordan . 22 news was also there recording the event and interviewing us .

The camera guy walked over to me and asked me to say my name and state my relation towards Jordan ." kristina S I'm Jordan's sister" I replied . He said " what would you like to say to the people watching this" I held in my tears and said " I want everyone to know what a horrible experience this has been . to watch someone you love fight for there life not knowing if this could possibly be the last time you saw that person . I never knew such a thing existed until it happened to my brother shaken baby syndrome is very serious and it's so important to never shake a baby . because not only will it change there life you could possibly end it .