You think you're good and fine, and you're just screwing around looking for some hot boy to drool after. Everything's going according to plan, you're having fun, nothing really matters all that much. All of a sudden, you meet this person.
They aren't what you're looking for, and all they are to you is another attractive boy that isn't your type. One day, in one moment, something happens. One little thing and you're suddenly stuck on them. You get butterflies when you see them, even though it's been months now. You try multiple times to get over them, because you've gotten used to manipulating your feelings, but it doesn't work.
They do stupid things that make you angrier than anything else. You're left pacing your room at 11:19 pm on a Wednesday night, hands running through your hair and your jaw clenched.
The next day, they do things that make you smile bigger than the distance between the earth and sun. You forget the previous night, but you're still awake into late hours of the night, playing back the day and laughing at the bubbled up feeling in your heart. They aren't yours, but you're theirs. Months down the road you lay in bed, remembering that they didn't mean a single thing to you when you met them.
You remember that you didn't even know their name, and you didn't care about whether they looked at you or not. You didn't have their smile memorized, and you didn't have the sound of their voice echoing in your thoughts 24/7.
It drives you crazy that you didn't see what you do now at first blush. Other times, you're envious of your past self. You were free and excited and unattached.
No, this person you're hung up on isn't yours. You two are not dating, and probably not even friends, but you can't help but to feel a deeper love and connection then you've ever known before.
You don't want anyone else. Even porn's starting to lose its temptation, which is both alarming and romantic (but mostly alarming, because what the heck are you gonna do now?). You pray for them every single night.
And as much as this love sucks sometimes, you wouldn't trade it for the world.
Any other person bores you to the point of wanting to tear your skin off. Who else could you want, anyways?
Who could ever fill the place in your heart that they take up?"
YOU ARE READING
Him
PoetryI find beauty in leaves and birds chipping on a tree branch and the clouds in sky and the snails on grass and the butterflies on flowers and dust ,the corridors , the bees , cups , in smoke and patterns, designs and textures and death and the color...
