Completely Broken

Chapter 1

The pain I'm always put through of never feeling good enough. Not for myself. Not for my parents. Not for anyone. I can go through some trials and feel fine well that's what I tell myself anyway. The biggest one is school. I can't stand being there anymore, sometimes it's easier to skip just so I don't have to see them.

I'm going to be a sophomore this year. Maybe this year things will be different. No one will harm me like before. But deep down I know that will never be true. My parents think I'm this perfect child with no problems. The fact that they don't see the pain in my eyes everytime I come home from school proves it. I will forever be alone and I have to be okay with that.

School officially starts tomorrow and I'm not prepared. Hopefully it's not as bad as last year. Even though I only have one friend. We'll make it through another year together full of pain and suffering. Going to bed I have nightmares of the day to come.

I wake up dreadfully and get ready for school. Cassandra is outside waiting for me like always. We always walk together just to avoid the other kids on the bus. As we were walking a couple of jocks drove next to us. Oh great this can't be good. I ignored them and kept walking with Cassandra.

"Hey do you need a rid?" The person in the passenger seat asked. You could tell that his friend wasn't so happy about that.

"We're fine thanks anyway," said Cassandra. With that we walked till we reached the school we call torture. It's the first day and we're already receiving hateful glares from our bullies.

It's bad that we don't have any classes together. How can we protect each other from others? Finding our lockers we head to our separate classes. Math, my favorite subject is first. What sucks is that I'm with most of the jocks. Well this is going to be a fun class. As soon as I entered the class I heard the word booknerd fill the room. I'm hating this school year already.

Finally when the torture of math class was over I go to my locker. Only to find out that the head cheerleader was right next to me. "Gross my locker is next to the book freak," she wailed.

"Give it a rest Sarah. It's only a locker it's not like we have classes together." Closing my locker I go to the library during action. I've been doing this since freshman year just for peace and quiet. The librarian and me are good friends and let's me stay in here when I need it.

Grabbing one of my favorite books I sit in the back and read. I was there till the bell rang for third. Next up is science. Not very good at it, but enjoy it all the same. We got in our assigned seats and waited for the teacher.

Our teacher came in with a clipboard in his hand. Probably about to tell us our partners for the school year. "Jace and Elena you will both be partners." Great I'm paired with a jock. This isn't good at all. He'll make me do all the work or threaten me if I don't. He smiled at me but I just looked down.

The rest of the period we had to talk to our partner and get to know them. Jace did most of the talking though. Maybe if I didn't talk to him, the others would leave me be. Of course I knew that was pointless. All he got out of me was my name and that I love to read.

I bolted out the classroom once the bell went off. Now my next two classes were the worst. Getting called names left and right. The best ones were freak, nobody, and booknerd. I couldn't let them see how broken I was inside. So ignoring all of them I waited for lunch.

Thankfully it came by quick. When Cassandra walked into the cafeteria with tear stained cheeks I knew it was bad. Telling her to go outside to our spot, I went to get food. As I was turning around with my tray I accidentally walked into a guy.

"Watch where you're going freak," he yelled. The entire cafeteria went silent. All eyes on me.

"I'm s-sorry," I stuttered. Tears were coming to my eyes but I made sure they didn't fall. The tray still in my hand I started to walk outside. Cassandra was in our little spot. I sat down and handed her the food. She needs it more than I do.

I've only cried in front of her, no one else. I let the tears fall and hug her tightly to me. Why did this have to happen to us? We've done nothing wrong, I just don't understand it. Soon it was time to go back to class. Saying our goodbyes we go to class once again. This time it was too much all because of the incident in the cafeteria.

Now I'm being called slut. I hate my life so much. I wish I could end it right here and now. Sarah the cheerleader thought I was stealing her boyfriend because I bumped into him. Newsflash I don't like him I can't stand the sight of him.

School was soon out and I couldn't be more happy. I could already tell the school year would be terrible. I'm at my breaking point and that's not good. Being strong for Cassandra is all that matters right now. Putting away our books we begin the journey home from school.

I wave goodbye at her house and go to mine. Like always both my parents are working and don't see me when I come in. Heating up food from yesterday I go to my room and finish homework. After today it was only going to get worse that much I can tell. Cassandra isn't strong enough to ignore them like I am and that's what I'm afraid of. Maybe most of it will be directed at me instead.

At night when I knew my parents were asleep. I went to the bathroom and took a blade to my wrist just enough to draw blood. This is my stress reliever from the world. Going back to my room I cried myself to sleep.