Always (Helpless #2)

Six

EUNHA POV

Be yourself, love yourself. You can't love anyone unless you love yourself first.

My father always says those words to all of us, and I always repeat it.

Be myself.

Who is myself?

I am Jung Eunbi.

I am Jung Eunha.

I am strong at fighting

I am stubborn

I am childish

I am many things and I'm me.

Love yourself

Love myself

But can I love myself? Can I still love the person who put her own family in danger? Aside from my personality, can I love myself for that fact?

Not accident, it was never an accident, it was a purpose, a fact that happened.

The answer is, I can't love myself when that car crash happened because of me. Not until Jaehyun is behind the bars.

Yerin unnie is the only one who knows and she doesn't even ask. She just look at the evidence, and her words are, 

What's next?

That had been her question then and I appreciate it so much that she doesn't ask for details or anything.

But now, now, now!

Jungkook knows!

He knows!

Jungkook!

The man who conflicted my brain, my heart, knows!

I don't care if Kang hyung and V hyung knows because they don't know me as well as Jungkook did.

Its why there's always a saying that, its easier to confide in stranger because they don't know you, they can't judge you.

Its the whole opposite of someone who know you so well.

Yerin unnie is different in a way, we always understand each other at how we're both victims of Jaehyun's crime.

But if Jungkook asks me for details, I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold my tears.

Which is why this teaming up or cooperation can't happen.

"I won't agree to this." I blurt out fiercely to Yerin unnie.

I don't even remember wich hallway we took or which door is this but we're in a bedroom with grey, wood and bright lights.

But I don't care, what I care now is to not be cooperating with Jungkook.

Yerin unnie doesn't say anything, she's pursuing her lips and frowning her brows in concentration, but I do notice she paled ever so slightly.

"I think we have to." She said softly.

"I can't." I hissed, careful to keep my voice low just in case they are eavesdropping.

"Do you know what Taehyung meant by saying my name?"

Numbly, I nod my head. Of course I do, as Jungkook and Kang hyung probably know too.

"Your birth certificate."

Before Jung Yerin, she lives as Jung Jinhyun, its only later she discovered she isn't blood related to Jung Jaehyun by discovering her birth certificate accidentally.