There was a part where I may or may not have just spilled my feelings out and typed so fast and loud... I got a little carried away and there is a lot of dialogue and long paragraphs that they say to each other... Tried to cut it short but it didn't quite work... I tried...
Nathan
The remaining of the week was dreadful. My mom didn't come back or contact any of us, my dad worked endlessly to distract himself, and Grace was a mess. I would come home to her sobbing on the couch with a family picture near her. Or she was extremely upset when she saw a picture or when she passed our parents' empty bedroom.
It was hard taking care of her when she would cry all night. I let her stay in my room so I can comfort her, it's the least I can do to help. I feed her, help her with work from school, and bring her to school on time... I think I'm doing the right thing.
It was finally Saturday, normally I would sleep in then play basketball until dusk, but it almost slipped my mind that I had a detention to go to because I am too good of a friend... The rules were the same as last time, "you can read, talk softly blah blah blah".
"How are you?" Bryce questioned, glancing at me. I shrug, setting my chin on the table. "Talk to me."
I felt everything that has happened over the week finally jump out of me. All the anger and stress, everything just painfully spilled out of my mouth.
"I'm exhausted. So exhausted. Grace stays up late crying or talking to me or having a major meltdown. My dad falls asleep right when he gets home from work so he doesn't have to deal with Grace. He's been a real asshole lately. Always snapping at me or not making dinner on time, drinking the rest of the coffee, taking too long of a shower... Just little things like that turn into him and I arguing on and off. I usually stop after a few minutes because I don't want Grace to get worried... It's just so hard. I can't even properly take care of myself, how do I take care of a 12-year-old. My dad expects me to do everything my mom did. Make dinner, do the dishes, make his coffee, clean... Everything she does except for paying the bills. I don't care that my mom's gone, I don't miss her or am affected by it. It's everyone else who is and I have to handle it all... Yes, I understand Grace is young and needs care. But she is always crying and expects me to be exactly like my mom. My grades dropped from straight A's to 2 B's and A's. 2 B's! I haven't had anything lower since... Ever!
I can't study for anything because I have to take care of the entire house and 2 people. My dad doesn't even spend time with Grace anymore. Apparently, she looks too much like our mom... It's so frustrating. I can't study late at night because I stayed up all night the day before, and the day before. Everyone forgot how to... live practically and fully rely on me to take care of them like I have nothing else to do."I let out out a breath of frustration. A much-needed breath. But then added, "anything I do is never good enough for anyone, ever."
Bryce expression was a mixture of so many different emotions. Shock, from my loud ranting. Pity. Sadness. And annoyance. Also a "well, that sucks" expression was blended into his face. His beautiful face...
"Why do you think that what you do isn't enough?"
"It just isn't Bryce! My mom here or not, everyone expects me to do everything. My sister is failing school and gets a "good job" when she gets a D instead of an F. I get "A 94? Really? You can do better than that." They expect me to do everything little thing perfectly while my little sister or them can just do whatever. It's not just my parents, it's everyone. All my friends, my relatives, teachers, coaches... They think I have a perfect life and that I can do everything for them. Teachers ask me endless times to tutor a student after school. Coaches ask me endlessly to clean up the locker room or to run so I will be faster on the court. I'm already faster than everyone! You can't expect me to do every little thing for you. Everyone just acts like I don't have a life. That I can just drop everything and do something for them, but get mad when I don't agree or don't do good enough. It's just... so annoying and stressful. I try so damn hard, but it will never be good enough for anyone. Not even myself or-"
