Life Update, How am I
I'm feeling anxious and alone. I'm constantly worrying about everything, and I feel like all my problems keep washing over me and taking over me and it's really making it hard to live my life. I fall asleep worried and sad, and wake up worried and sad. The thing is that I will have periods of time that might be as much as two weeks, where I'm feeling fine, but that's because I'll just brush things off. But after those periods of time, everything comes back to me at once and I break. Many times. I've stopped talking as much as I used to, at school and at dance, and I try to just keep to myself. This makes me feel two ways, good, because I'm not a big people person, even though it seems like I am, but it also makes me feel worse, because I'm just pushing away any chance I get to talk to a friend about how I'm feeling. I put so much effort into making sure my friends are ok, completely ignoring my own problems. Some of my friends probably don't even take it into consideration that I'm not doing great. Yesterday we were working on a project, and the person in the project that I'm mainly supposed to be working with was doing everything by them self, so I asked the other two people that were doing the other part of the project if they needed help and they were like nO yOu NeEd To Do OtHeR tHiNgS yOu ArEnT eVeN dOiNg AnYtHiNg. The thing is, there's a bunch of good things happening to me, for example, I got into the high school program that I applied for, but I'm still not happy. So that makes me feel like I'm selfish, which makes me feel even worse, if that's even possible at the point. And last week I tried coming out as pan to my parents, and they don't even believe me, which is TOTALLY what we all want in life🙄So, as you can tell, I'm not doing too great. I'm gonna stop boring y'all with this rant.
