Here's to the Night

Chapter Five

Harper:

Please be negative please be negative please be negative. I sat on the floor with my head pressed tight between my knees. I've never been one for praying hell I don't even believe in God, but in this moment I was a devout catholic in church on Sunday begging for redemption.

Oh Lord I'll do anything, no more partying, no more drinking or drugs. I'll go home tonight to my mother and father and little sister, be the best damn daughter and sibling they've ever seen! Ill enroll in college and get a good job just give me the chance dear Jesus! My hands were clasped together as I preached to myself silently.

I picked up the pregnancy test, tears now rolling down my reddened face.

Quiet sobs escaped my throat as I read the results.

Positive.

Now what? I grow up? Better myself for my child's sake? Tell stories years later about how much of a miracle he/she was? How much being a mom changed me? Maybe in an ideal world, but this was not an ideal world.

I was a low life loser, a rebel, a dropout runaway with nothing going for me. I only had one option. I picked up my phone and began dialing a number I never thought I would need.

"Hello Family Planning how may I help you?" A chirpy voice answered.

"Hi.. I'd like to schedule an abortion.. Please.." Was that the right thing to say? Was there a guide book for how to schedule an abortion? Oh god why did I say please!?

The chirpy woman interrupted my thoughts. "Sure ma'am, I just need some information first."

"Okay.."

"How far along are you?" She asked kindly sensing my hesitation.

"I.. I don't know exactly. " I tried to control my breathing.

"That's ok dear. Do you know who the father is?"

The father!! I hadn't even taken a second guess, it never even crossed my mind. Of course I know who the father is.

"Yes, I do."

"Is he aware of your pregnancy?" She asked again.

Of course he's not aware! As if the lead signer of Green Day Billie Joe Dickhead has nothing better to worry about. How would I even start that conversation with him? Oh hi it's me that girl you tried to pay after sex.. Welp turns out I'm pregnant. That's right I'm carrying your illegitimate child. Oh you want nothing to do with me or this baby? I understand, good day. What the fuck!

"No he's not." I replied.

"That's ok. Hold on for just a moment." I listened as she placed the receiver down, I could hear muffled voices and cheesy music in the background.

"Can I have your name please?" She was back.

"Harper Lane." I answered.

"When would you like to schedule the procedure Harper?"

They're calling it a procedure now?

"Um.. Well.. As soon as possible I guess."

"How about tomorrow at twelve."

TOMORROW!? AT TWELVE!?

"Yes that works." I immediately hung up no longer able to form words. I just wanted to die.