Hope

Overwhelmed

Everything was just overwhelming and Lauren didn't know what to do.

Today was already overwhelming and then it got worse.

Dani was touching her and hugging her then, the lights were way too bright. The noises of the various things were too LOUD. The feeling of the touch was stressful and her senses were too overwhelming. The smells of the food and medication... Just everything. Even the humidity in the air was too much. She felt like everything was such a big thing.

Then Dani was SHOUTING at her and she couldn't handle it. Lauren felt like her ears were bleeding, the ringing never seeming to stop.

No one understood her. She couldn't vocalize what was happening and by the time they figured out what was wrong, it was too late. She was trying to force out words but... but she couldn't. She didn't know how. Her vocal cords refused to do what she wanted them to do, not moving when she tried to tell her brain to tell her throat to speak.

She couldn't control what was happening everything was... was... she didn't think there were words that described how it felt.

She finally got out a few words but, she didn't even know what they were. She felt herself throwing things but she couldn't stop herself. Her body was being overwhelmed by feelings and senses and she couldn't breathe. SHe screams in frustration, not even knowing if she could make a sound.

Dani had left and Lauren was rocking her entire body back and forth, trying to relieve some of her anxiety. It wasn't working and Lauren was getting more worked up by the second...

She covers her ears with her hands but the noises still didn't stop. Then Lauren heard POUNDING steps and crying. The Noises were worse and then they were getting even worse. She didn't know how to handle it all. It was too overwhelming and it felt like she couldn't breathe.

Christina had opened up her arms in front of Lauren and Lauren didn't know how to feel. Christina also had her headphones and tangle toy.

"Laur, sweetie, we can take you to the special room if you want?"

Lauren had to take a few minutes to process her words but soon thought it would be better. If she had her headphones and toy and... and she was in her special room then... then maybe it would all be Ok.

 Lauren hesitantly heads toward Christina's arms, still sobbing. Her head throbbing... No, pounding, intensely.

Once Lauren gets into Christina's arms, she relaxes a little. Not by much though. She has a death grip in Christina but Christina doesn't say a word, not wanting to upset her [Lauren].

"Alright, Laur... We are gonna go to your special room now ok?"

Lauren doesn't say anything, her head still pounding. The headphones were now over her ears and the noise was much better. She felt Christina's shirt and it was nice. It was very soothing to the touch and as a result, Lauren just stroked it gently, over and over again. The repetitive motions continuing to soothe.

 Katherine now had a more relaxed Dani, though, her eyes were red and puffy from tears. Dani was gripping onto Katherine with all her might, scared that Katherine was going to leave her. Her knuckles were turning white from the tight grip she had on Katherine's shirt as Katherine turns around to sit down in their rocking recliner.

"It's ok Dan... We won't leave you. It's ok."

Dani relaxes her grip on Katherine's shirt slightly, still fearful that Katherine would suddenley up and leave her.

Christina takes Lauren up to her sensory room on the third floor. It has soft pads on some parts of the floor and walls, a  UV light is lighting the room dimly, contrasting the harsh lights from the rest of the house and outside world. There are various comfortable chairs as well as some stim toys. There are some humidifiers and a play mat that has many different rubber seat like things with different textures. A small ball pit sits in the corner on one side of the room, the other corner having a mirror as well as some clear plastic poles that change colors filled with various things that calmly float around such as Glitter, bubbles, and small beads, submerged in water.

Laur struggles to get down but, once Christina sets her on the floor, she rushes to a hanging chair and grabs a very soft blanket. Once she gets on the hanging chair, she strokes the blanket as she puts it over her body so she doesn't have to see any lights. Her headphones still stay on blocking out most sound. 2 of her senses have been blocked out and she is less overwhelmed, her tears slowing down.

Christina sighs at Laurens immediate retreat but, find a comfortable chair and sits down. She begins playing on her phone to distract her from her thoughts.

This is a little shorter than normal but, I'm tired so... here [It's not even that late... It's 7 o'clock, almost 8 where I am].