I wake up just to feel the presence again of the trouble and pain. I go through the obstacles and power for a tower of emotions to crumble and end up collapsing as I enter, immediately causing numbness and the feeling of soullessness. Then all there is can only be described as the pain of the damned and condemned parts of my life. People come along for the show and nothing more but the sheer satisfaction of my pain in living. But the next day then brings promises of hurricanes and typhoons of hate for things I enjoy. I barely can speak with an open heart with out it getting shot with a 40mm grenade, shattering and leaving a gap of existentiality and happiness. Just time remains about as a tormentor. Life is a game never to be cheated or faked. Fight or die hiding, a coward to lose all that you stood for. Debt catches all and kills all lives and chances. Such is life. Politically, governmentally, and economically fucked and corrosive of the persona and will power.
