help i'm drowning in confusion

entry three: thirst

        This entry name pretty much sums me up. Except I'm not thristy in the horny way [a.n. maybe...], but in the romance and friendship way. Feel me? I would have used 'missing you' or 'without you', but sticking to my artsy one word entry titles, I chose thirst. I chose it because it shows just how desperate I am for you.

        I see you everyday around school, and it always feels like a punch in the stomach. Recently we started saying hi to each other in the hallways. Once I almost asked when we would start talking to each other again, but I kept my self control on point and only greeted you then hastily ran away. 

        A few days ago you invited me to come over, I wasn't available but I thought you having a proper conversation with me meant we were back on a talking basis. I was wrong. I was so so wrong. That night when I cried to you and ranted to you about our relationship, you didn't talk the way you used to, you apolgized over and over but you never gave me a straight answer. I know you don't love me anymore. But do I still have a chance?

        Remember when we went to go watch the new action movie "Edge of Tomorrow", and when the credits came on you were estatic because your favourite song came on. I still remember you started screaming the lyrics to "Love Me Again" as soon as you heard it. Even after we left the theater you wouldn't stop screaming the words to that slightly irritating song. Because of you singing it over and over and over again, the words and the vision of you singing it kind of stuck with me. I remember how you would look me straight in the eye and sing it slightly off key and it would make me burst out in laughter and embarrasment because I knew that it must have been an odd sight for everyone else. It was one of my favourite experiences with you.

I know you still love to sing that song whenever you hear it, but the words are kind of meaningless to you aren't they. You don't need to know if I will ever love you again because you know I still do. But I know that you don't love me anymore so... I need to know now, will you love me again?