Even After Forever | ✔

7. I Couldnt Get to You

"Oh darling, just admit it. You love him, you seriously do…" - Unknown.

Chapter 7. I Couldn't Get to You

•Sawyer P.O.V•

You know what really hurts? Goodbyes. They hurt the most when the story isn't finished and the book has already been closed, never to be looked at again. Thrown away without a thought, something so special; gone that easily.

Its hard you know? Trusting people is hard, keeping up my grades is hard, thinking happy thoughts, and maintaining friendships is hard. Doing everything is becoming hard and I don't like it. I thought I was finally going to be normal, but I guess even that is hard.

Showing my feelings is impossible, its like looking for a shooting star in a sky full of twinkling stars. Loving you is difficult, because after all the years I've been alive, I still cant love myself. So how am I suppose to make you love me, when I cant even love myself.

I look out the bus window, watching everything blur pass, as the bus keeps a good speed. Its quiet, most likely everyone asleep. I look up to the sky, the pink flushing into the blue, making it a beautiful sea of colors.

Pink sky at night, sailors delight

Pink sky in the morning, sailors take warning.

My mothers soft voice runs through my mind, she use to say that saying when I was a child. I would ask her why the sky turned pink, her reply would always be, it helped the sailors.

I miss her, Dad, Fiona, and May. I know if they were here, they'd be telling me how big of a mistake I was making. But their not, and now its just me and my messed up ideas.

I lean my head against the cool window, many thoughts swirling in my head. The last conversations I had with them this morning.

Meryl squeals, running up to hug me, "You're the best big sister ever!" She exclaims, squeezing me tightly with her small arms.

I look behind her to see Britain roll his eyes, "You make an ok sister, I mean your better than Meryl." He says with a snicker. Meryl pulls away from me, running over to Britain.

I watch in amusement as they argue with each other. I brought them here only an hour ago and they've been extremely happy. They both love their rooms and Britain finally wont be the only guy.

"Sawyer." A whisper comes to my ear, I shriek and turn fast, only to see Chance doubled over in laughter. Glad to know I'm amusing to him.

"Oh, god. Y-you should ha-have seen your face." He stutters out, choking on his laughter. I give him a flat look and he pushes the laughter away, settling on a smile.

"What do you want?" I grumble, kicking at his foot. He grins and grabs my hand gently in his, pulling me sideways into his room.

"I dont know, talk for a bit?" He questions. I shake my head, hiding the smile that tries to blossom on my face.

"I cant, I have to leave in a few minutes." I state, I watch his smile drop but it doesn't last long.

"Okay than, I guess I'll see you tomorrow for the presentation." He says, pulling me into a hug. The only bonus about my height is, I'm 5'6" and Chance is about 6'2". Meaning, when I lay my head on his chest, I can hear his heartbeat.

I pull away and we walk out. I give Meryl and Britain another hug, "I love you guys ok? I mean. Even when I do stupid things, I still love you."

"We love you too." They answer in sync. I smile and leave, walking down the street while the tears come easily, now that I no longer have to hold them back.

They have no Idea what I've done, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I watch as signs fly pass.

Welcome To St. Augustine, Florida the blue sign reads. I look away quickly, tears sliding down my face as I realise I'm miles away from them.

I guess this is goodbye to New Haven, Connecticut. Now I'm states over. Bur nobody knows that. They think I'll be visiting them tomorrow, Chance thinks I'll be in school tomorrow.

But I wont be, and I cant even say goodbye, its to hard.

I bite on my lip to hold in a sob as I wipe my face quickly, I'm going to miss them all. But maybe this can help me, maybe its better if I'm not with them. Their better off without me.

And I guess in a way, me leaving is my goodbye to them all.

•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•

Authors note: Its finished, sorry its short. Also with the places, I dont really know that much about them, but this book took place in New Haven Connecticut and now shes gone to St. Augustine Florida.

I live in Halifax Nova Scotia, this little place called lower sackville. And I've never left here in my life.

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~James