I'm not sure how else my distaste for this topic could be put across; hence the unpleasant title.
There are words people mould that sound like advice for others, but they wouldn't take it for themselves. They'd tell you a million times how harmful it could be, and how horribly you've been handling things. They will judge you based on how carefully you've heeded to their advice. And after all the lashing and gossiping, the backbiting and measuring, they will say "no one's perfect".
Well, duh.
With that excuse, and basking under naive posts that ask you to "be lenient with yourself" and "you must forgive yourself", you might see them committing the same mistakes. And you might wonder, perhaps with a chuckle, "did we come a full circle now? Look at you defying your own words." And what do they gain but sins to scar their souls? Nothing.
One of qualities I find attractive is being self-critical. While those posts (👆🏻) are meant to advocate self-love, which isn't a bad thing in small quantities, it doesn't give us the license to overlook our own advice. The only thing that keeps us on track is fear, being self-critical with things within your control is healthy. The only reason we can't take criticism is because of impurities in the heart; when you decide you can't possibly deserve such a diagnosis.
There's a saying in Turkish;
"Ya olduğun gibi görün ya da göründüğün gibi ol"
which means "either look as you are or be as you seem" (...by the way, I think this is adapted from one of Rumi's quotes.) You'll find people (especially online) with such a strong façade, you'd think it's natural. In modern English, it's called "being two-faced". (Lol, reminds me of Voldemort from the first book, on many different levels. 🤭)
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The "worry about yourself" part here (👆🏻) could be said in many different forms, like "I don't like being told what to do" and "you're younger than I am", even if it is the exact same thing they've advised you on. These are signs of a hypocrite. If someone thinks you're trying to bruise their precious ego, it's their fault. But if we're afraid of judgement from them; it's our fault, and there are probably very few things worse than wronging our own selves this way.
May Allah keep us free from the characteristics of a hypocrite. May He give us the courage to stand up against what is truly wrong. And He knows best.
