Shatter

Prologue

            The road to true love, is a road, I always thought I'd be able to go down. One way or another, I thought it'd happen to me, and it was happening, but things got screwed up somewhere along the way, and it ended.

               As an ex-writer, I thought I could figure out what went wrong, what in the world went wrong, but I was left numb, and dry of tears when they lowered the coffin in the ground, and all the feelings I had for a man I never knew, and a brother I thought I'd have soon, vanished, and it was only his existence, Chandler's existence, that drove me insane the next few days.

               Left alone, broken, and shattered. Every night his voice would echo, every day his face would appear, and every song that played reminded me of him.

               It was awful. I felt like Bella from Twilight after Edward left her, and it hurt even more when I thought about that similarity because I remember Chandler talking about her one time, reminding me about him again, not that I forgot in the first place.

               Every month, seemed as short healing as a day passing, and finally, after nearly 12 days, month to month, my pain and endless 'why's' stopped drowning my head, and I felt the world back away from me as I started to lash out at anyone who pushed me.

               I made myself busy. There were tons of things to learn and discover that made it easy to overlook my 16th birthday, the reminders of what happened on my last birthday, gone, and now it's just a day that changes a number tied to the anniversary of my birth.

               I've been back home for an entire year practically, and my relationships are confined to bodyguards, and business employees that speak with my guardians about what's what and who's who. After the funeral, my mother dressed me in fine new clothes, and introduced me to my grandfather's old associates that said they'd wait for me to develop my leadership skills to revive the Photography and Literature Magazine that my family told me about.

               Photography and Literature...I don't know a thing about photography, but literature is one of my passions...still; I haven't even had time to write for months. I gave my book a crappy ending and broke the hearts of apparently 25,000+ readers that scolded me for snapping the blooming relationship in two between Chandler's character on Collide and my would be self.

               I wanted to make it a happy ending...I tried, I really did, but in the end I just couldn't.

               I've changed so much...but then again not at all. I guess only in the category of Chandler...I stopped watching Collide 7 months ago and heard it ended with amazing reviews...I'm glad one of us had a successful finish.

               I'm a little glad to know however that I'm not the only one that's changed. I was shocked, and wasn't allowed to go, but Aunt Vera and Kevin got married a month after the funeral and she now has a son, but since mom cut ties with her after they argued for me to go back to London last time they were in the same room together, I have no idea, at all, what my cousins name is.

               I slouch in my seat at the sad fact that I'm so alienated from my newest family member, and I have to say, I'm glad I have a new cousin instead of a new baby brother. My mom gave up the idea after I started seeing private tutors and my mentors advised both me and my parents as to the best future for me.

               Apparently my grandfather left all his money to me, no one else, and a gem of a company brand magazine that is my responsibility when I turn 18. I've been attending school nonstop and researching my company that's been on incognito business affairs for the past 8 years.

               And finally, I just figured out how I feel about the entire thing.

               I hate it.

               I hate almost everything about this situation. It's a great opportunity and money maker, but it's just...so limiting to me. I can only fight my way to keep myself content, and that's hard in itself...but I feel like I'm dying in a dark room with no one to show me the door back to the world that made me happy.

               On every wall, the words "too good to be true" are graffiti-ed in red and beside them, a white streak is slashed across his blue eyes, eyes that I will never be able to forget for as long as I live, and it's killing me to even think about it.

               I want to leave this room.

               I want to move on. I know the truth about me. I know that I only fight the problem, but never let it take me head on so I can resolve it, because I know I can't...I'll never be able to move on.

               It's just the same as it used to be. You catch a glimpse of something, and try to keep yourself from looking again, but it just draws you back.

               Month after month, as my connections grew stronger and my options broadened, I had to talk myself out of making a fool out of myself by calling or contacting Chandler in any way...I've only now started to move on...and I know that if I start to go back down the memory lane recorded inside my head...it'll all going to come back to me, and it'll be another 12 months till I'm strong enough to consider moving on or even wanting to again.

               But soon, I find...I think I'll have to face the past, whether I want to or not.

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Yay! I'll be working on the first chapter in a bit, but yeah! look at chan! he's happy for a second book! hope this one doesn't dissapoint. and the song on the side, dang, describes Chandler in this fic so well T-T

Thank you all who have decided to read! Can't wait to write some more. BYA!!!