Tear In My Heart

10th Grade

Will is being incarcerated for possession of drugs. You get driven to the police station by Lucas's father and he is the last one remaining with the officer. Auggie has left, the young girls he was with are gone, and the young man who was dealing is in a holding cell. They tell you that they saw Will standing with the girls and Auggie when the man walked over and the patrolling officer at the middle school brought them all in; he isn't in much trouble. It is a manner that can be dealt with at home and you sigh before your little brother runs into your arms and you embrace him.

When you hold Will, it reminds you of the years when your mother started leaving more and more. It was gradual but steady. One weekend, five days, an entire week, two entire weeks; it built up and up until she was gone for several weeks at once. He would cry after she walked out the door and he'd tell you that he was afraid he would misbehave and she wouldn't want to come home at all anymore. He knows the chances of his fears as he stands in this station.

"It most certainly will, but where can I sign to take him home?" The man asks you your age and you're scared to tell him the truth, but you have to. You know that there is a slim chance that they're releasing Will to his fifteen-year-old sister, and that they can actually check so you're in a corner. "I'm fifteen, sir, going on sixteen. Innocent as a rose." You hope the joke will ease the rules, but he shakes his head in response.

"Sorry, but we need his legal guardian to sign for him before he can be released."

"But my mother isn't in town currently. I'm in charge of him."

"And when will your mother return."

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

What do you tell him? How do you discreetly say that you have no fucking clue and you haven't seen your mother in two and a half weeks? "Very soon! And we're set to make a lunch before her arrival, meaning it'd be silly to keep him here all day."

Quick on your feet, if you have nothing else.

"I guess we'll just have to keep him here until tonight then. Feel free to sit with him, or to run back home by yourself and bring your mother here when she arrives." This man dismisses you by sitting at his desk and opening a folder.

Will is still crying in your arms when you feel Lucas pull him from you and softly whisper in your ear. You don't even remember him getting out of the car with you, but then again you barely remember getting in the car or anything after the phone call. "Maya, go call her," he tells you.

You know better than to try to work around the police. Lucas's father has always told you to run to the fire station or to call him in an emergency. Most police work is corrupt with selfish motives, he learned it first hand. He wanted you protected and he wanted you prepared.

You're terrified when you dial your mother because she hates when you call her on business trips. She tends to hate when you call her in general, honestly.

"Bonjour, ma fille!" she answers and you can tell she's with a group of people. She's in France, evidently, and she always answers in that faux excited tone while at parties. "Excusez-moi," she tells her guests before you hear the background conversation dull.

"Bonjour, maman," you say in hopes that she isn't too upset with you.

"Maya, you know better than to bother me while I am working. Can you no longer understand the simple instructions I leave you? Must I dumb them down for you?" Hope is a silly thing to have, you think.

"I'm sorry, mother, it's just that-"

"It's just that you can't stand on your own for the limited times I am away to provide for you, isn't it? How do you plan on surviving as an adult?"