Second Chances

12

[Chris's POV]
I could hardly sleep my depression was killing me my heart was still broken my brother.. Jackson died poor thing he didn't deserve to die...
Tears welled in my eyes As I sat up I put my hands on my face covering my eyes, Jordan woke up "C-Chris you okay?" He said softly
"N-No.." I mumbled Jordan hugged me "Is it about-... you know who" He said
I nodded trying to not cry.
It sucks having depression and anxiety at the same time I had an okay childhood had good grades so I could leave those schools, I hated them my whole life. Ever since my girlfriend left me or a friend.. she never wanted me she used me for my payment when I made a song and made me and my band hella broke.
I looked at Jordan and blushed a bit, I looked at him shyly.
I've been always shy my mother usually said it was a phase ya know listening to rock music and being edgy but not for me..
I scream loudly in my songs not for just views or to be scary but to express how I feel about other people sort of as if a demon is screaming in the depths of hell.
Jordan wrapped his arms around me.
"Do we have to go to college?" I groaned as I looked at him.
"No unless if you want a good job.." Jordan said as he laid in my arms.
"I've already been to college for two years just to get a damn piece of paper" I said
Jordan laughed sweetly.
"Heh you do need some education though"
"Hell no"
"Can we work on a song?" I said
"Sure wait isn't it Friday we can do whatever the hell we want?" Jordan said
"Yea" I said
I went to my desk and grabbed a medication bottle and took my depression medicine.
I was tired and felt useless.. pain SO MUCH PAIN.
"I'll take a shower please don't change my phone background please Johnny will be concerned" I said
"K" Jordan said
I closed the bathroom door and bent down grabbing the blade I hid in the back part of the cabinet.
I pulled my sleeve up and held the sharp blade against my wrist cutting the blade deeper into my skin causing me to groan in pain "Fuck" I mumbled tears welled in my eyes as I put the knife back in the cabinet and grabbed some bandages and wrapped it around my wrists.
"Chris you okay? You sound like your in pain.."
Jordan said softly
"N-No I-I'm Fine.." I mumbled
"Chris your lying..I'm coming in no regrets don't fight with me.." Jordan sighed
He opened the door carefully I held my wrist as tears were rolling down my face "Chris...." Jordan sighed "C-Chris... oh my god you could have told me .." Jordan said gently as he took my hand off my wrist carefully I wined a bit as he took off the bandages looking at the cut it was hard to breathe my skin was pale and I felt cold.
I didn't realize that Johnny was going to check on me I saw him near my door and he just walked away eyes widened, horrified as if he just saw a murder.
"Chris... you should tell me about things like this you can trust me promise.." Jordan said softly as he grabbed some bandages.
He wrapped both of my wrists in bandages a shadow covered my eyes as the blood soaked the bandages.
"J-Jordan I'm s-Sorry.." I whimpered as I broke down crying wrapping my arms around him.
"It's okay" Jordan said softly
I cried for half an hour Eyes red and irritated, my wrist hurts like hell.
Jordan went to go to the hospital to see Jackson for the last time I didn't wanna go dead corpses don't interest me.. even if it's my brother.. I miss him so much.. he was so happy when we collaborated together for a song that I wrote.
"Yo Chris you ok? You look half dead.." Johnny said looking at me as he walked in the room.
"Y-Yeah I'm fine.." I said as I lied
"Yeah I know depression sucks when you have anxiety as well.." he said quietly
"Yeah I know that damn medication don't do shit to me just makes it worse.." I said quietly
"Well fans will start to worry.. shit like that.. you wanna quit doing songs for a week?" Johnny said looking at me
"Yeah I guess.." I mumbled
Johnny sat next to me on the bed, We talked and joked around like we used to do back in high school.
"Yo Chris I'll be back in like half an hour imma go hang out with my brother." Jordan said
"K cya." I said
Jordan waved goodbye and walked out the front door.
I didn't realize that Johnny was sitting very close to me, He fell asleep cuddling close to me. I stroked my fingers through his hair blushing a bit.
Johnny didn't care what I did to him he was always calm and safe when he was near me he's like a brother to me I don't know maybe like a little more than a brother...
I realized that Johnny was blushing he had a crush on me this whole time what a cutie..
Johnnys phone went off I turned it off quickly before he woke up to check and see who it was.
I glared at his phone background, It was a picture of a boy around me and Johnny's age he had dark brown hair and dark green eyes.
It was Nicholas Matthews Get Scared's first vocalist for the band sadly after all the stress and anxiety and pressure that was put on nick made him lose his mind.
Johnny woke up blushing deeply.
"Um...." He mumbled "fuck." Johnny said covering his face in embarrassment
I laughed as I hugged him, Johnny lays back in my arms laying his head on my chest.
"Chris I'm sorry that you had to see that.." Johnny said blushing "Im just not used to acting this way.. I don't know what it is.." He said
I thought something..
Is he gay?
"It's fine Johnny.." I said blushing deeply
Fuck now I'm falling in love with my guitarist shit shit fuck bitch SHIT.
"Well imma go to my room cya.." Johnny said as he hugged me
"C-Cya.." I said blushing deeply
He's never hugged me before.. he's never done that to me.
I want him to touch me I want him all to myself he's so cute to me.. I want him I need him he's the perfect match for me.
I didn't notice Johnny was still at my door he held his phone out and took a photo of me and ran.
"YOU SAW NOTHING CHRIS!" He yelled down the hallway.
"Cutie.." I thought to myself