unknown // thenextstep

unknown // 9 - Used

summer pov

"Glad I got the clarity I needed." he used me. I let him in and all he did was destroy me. All I wanted to find Richelle but instead I hear Noah saying how he just used me to get close to her. It makes sense though. I'm just a nobody here. Always will be. "Summer wait!" he shouted, holding onto my wrist. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks. "What Noah? What could you possibly say that could fix me inside?!" "I'm sorry." I looked down at where he had grabbed into my wrist. Gently pulling it away, I left the locker room and went into the change room.

I got my makeup mirror out of my bag and stared at myself through it. Smashing it on the ground, the glass shattered into pieces. Uneven parts. Sharp. Picking one up off the ground, I held it to my arm. What do I have to live for anymore? It's not like I matter to anyone anyways.

My hand shaking, I pressed the blade into my arm and pulled it along making a slit. Blood poured out of it and all I did was watch. Hardly able to breath, losing my self control. It isn't just Noah. It's everything about this studio in general. Tears kept falling and the bleeding didn't stop as the cut was actually quite deep for a slit.

The L-word. It ruins you. What more could I do? I feel worthless. Like nothing. The pain felt like nothing to the hurt I felt in my chest. My heart physically hurt. "Summer! Oh my goodness!" I heard a voice exclaim. It was Emily. She snatched the blade and then cleared up the glass.

Then she called the janitor to clear up the rest before leading me and my bleeding arm to the office. "I'm okay. Really, Miss Emily." "No. No you're not." she sighed, making a phone call. I checked my phone and saw there was a video of me, Richelle and Noah in the locker room. I- I- seeing it just increased my heartbeat. The blood was rushing as my heart beat faster. All of a sudden, everything went black as I fell to the ground....

- a few hours later -

"Summer..." a voice said. I was lying down on something and probably wasn't in the studio. Opening my eyes, I noticed I was in hospital. Not really like I remember what happened before that. Someone was standing beside me, their breathing was quite heavy. They were seeming a bit worried about me... As I said before, I'm fine.

The doctor was talking about concussion or something. I hit my head? Must have. Otherwise I would remember it in mire detail. Not like I want to though. Sitting up, the environment around me seemed very weird. Very... isolating. "Summer, you're awake?" "Yep. Awake and present. What happened?.." Emily went quiet. "You had a panic attack after looking at something on your phone. I called an ambulance because you passed out." That. I really don't want to remember that. It hurts my head just thinking about it. I'm done with it. And that is that.