The Adventures of Exodus Creed & Co.

In Which Lochland Is a Prisoner on The Pinkeye, and Meets Dr. Crediman

Lochland awoke on a thin blanket in the brig of The Pinkeye. The brig was so small he couldn't even lay down without getting scrunched, and there was no sink, bedpan, or anything useful to speak of. He felt woozy and confused, but otherwise unharmed. 

"Ah, you're awake!"

Holding his head just in case he got dizzy, Lochland stumbled to his feet and peered through the thick bars of the brig door. Immediately, he understood why the brig was so small.

He was in the belly of The Pinkeye, but the whole belly had been converted into a cramped laboratory. The brig was homemade, thrown into a corner, but very sturdy. Scuttling around the laboratory like a frail crab, with one tuft of silvery white hair vibrating on his head, was a bespectacled old man in a lab coat which had once been white, but was now spattered with all the colors of the rainbow from various unsuccessful experiments.

"You are awake! No longer in the slumber of sleep, the comforting embrace of dreamland. Ah, if only we could stay there forever, no?"

"Wot? No..."

"Ah, such is life, young man! You have very red hair, that's a genetic mutation you know. Very lucky to have a mutation, it makes you unique!"

"I'm sorry, are you mad?"

"No, not yet. I only get mad when my tea is late. Ah! There it is!"

With a soft ding an indescribable machine next to the brig pushed out a teacup full of thick, black liquid. The old man waddled over and took a sip.

"Blech. Disgusting as always." He complained, and then drained the whole cup. Turning, he met Lochland's eyes and jumped.

"Oh yes! Do you want some?"

"No, thank you. I want you to let me out, please."

"So polite! I adore manners, there's so few of them in this world. But I can't let you out. Otherwise, he'll kill me."

"Captain Corbin Monroe?"

"Yes, the very man! Intimidating brute, ugly as all get out, but I shouldn't complain..."

"Where is he, please?" Lochland interrupted.

"Oh, up on deck I expect. Unless he decided to jump ship. Dunno why he'd do that though, seeing as how we're thousands of miles above earth..."

"I'm sorry...sir? What do I call you?"

"Oh! I'm Dr. Crediman, at your service."

"I see. Would you please tell Captain Monroe I want to see him?"

"Certainly..."

"So, you're awake."

Dr. Crediman hunched his shoulders and scurried into a corner, muttering into his teacup. Captain Corbin moved swiftly through the maze of laboratory paraphernalia like an intimidating shadow until he was two feet from the brig. He wore his black trench coat and a black hood, both covered in stardust.

"You are here, Lochland Reign," Corbin began in a forbidding voice, "because you have broken the law."

"Which law?" Lochland grumbled, knowing full well he had broken at least a dozen.

Corbin reached up and removed his black hood slowly, revealing a pale face, silver beard, and piercing eyes. Lochland braced himself for the worst as the sound of steam and bubbling concoctions filled the tense silence.

"Tax evasion."

********

It took Lochland five minutes to stop laughing. Dr. Crediman started to join in but turned it into a cough at Captain Corbin's look. Surprisingly, Corbin allowed Lochland to finish laughing before he continued.

"It's nothing to laugh about, Young Reign." He said disapprovingly, as Lochland wiped tears out of his eyes. "Tax evasion is a terrible felony."

"Ah yes, terrible," Lochland giggled, "I'm truly sorry, Captain Corbin sir. Exactly how deeply am I in debt because of my tax evasion?"

"Forty-thousand two hundred and forty-two dollars, to be exact."

Lochland choked and stared in horror.

"Forty-thousand....??? Well, that's quite a lot more than I expected..."

"Well, you have been evading for several years now."

"Well, how am I supposed to pay it off from inside your brig?" Lochland snapped.

"An excellent question." Dr. Crediman whispered into his teacup. "Unfair to keep the lad in the brig where he cannot work and pay off his debt to society."

"Dr. Crediman, please go about your business." Corbin sighed, his tone full of forced patience.

"I've already blown up two beakers and lost my bottle of nitroglycerin. My business is done for the day."

"Again?? Honestly, you'll blow up my ship one day with your stupidity!" Corbin wailed, but he unlocked the brig and motioned Lochland out.

Once on deck, with Dr. Crediman singing a sea ditty below as he searched for his nitroglycerin, Lochland stretched and took a deep breath before saying.

"I can't pay you anything without my ship, y'know."

"You are not allowed back on your ship until you have paid your taxes and served your jail time. You must be brought into court. You will pay your taxes and spend a month in jail due to your negligence."

"That seems idiotic and pointless..."

"Which part?"

"All of it. Why must I spend time in jail after I pay off my taxes? Why am I even being taxed, I live in the sky for pities sake!"

"The government taxes your ship ownership. You, and every other airship captain out here, including me, are putting people down below in danger. Whenever you drop something off of your ship, be it on purpose or on accident, you run the risk of braining a pedestrian. Since we can never know who dropped what, we tax the airships so that people who are hit with objects from the sky don't have to pay their hospital bill."

"That sounds like it can backfire easily..."

"I don't question it. You must pay your taxes."

"I will!! But I'm not going to jail. Can I pay bail?"

"Yes, that is an option. But your ship won't catch up with us when they have no idea where we are."

"Oh really?" Lochland grinned. Before Corbin could ask him what he meant, Lochland loudly began singing along with Dr. Crediman.

A thousand miles above the earth

I sail the forever sky.

The clouds are waves

I ride the storms

The endless blue is mine!