What Lies Beneath

Nostalgia

 "Parcheesi?" Spencer's laugh is innocent and sweet, and his smile lights up the room. They have once again gathered in Daniel's parents' old room. There's a stack of board games in the center of the floor, and they're all gathered around, sitting with their legs crossed.

"You've never played that?" Jordan asks.

"I've never even heard of it, Jo." His penchant for nicknaming his friends had once seemed strange, especially to Jordan, who didn't think that he could find one for her name. However, both her and Daniel have come to love it dearly. "Is it fun?"

"Kinda," Daniel replies. "But we have Monopoly. Don't you wanna play that?"

"No thanks, Danny; I'd rather keep our friendship intact, thank you." They all laugh.

A few hours pass. Still sitting there, the carpet is littered with empty soda cans and half-crushed water bottles, the latter hoarded around Daniel. They had played Monopoly, as Daniel had suggested, but the game was pushed aside half-way through. Banker's money scattered across the board, they had knocked over the dog, car, and hat they each had chosen for their playing piece. As Spencer had suspected, they began to bicker over the game. Jordan was the one who put it to a stop.

Now, all sitting in different positions on the floor, their conversations got a little more personal.

"I'm really glad you all could come on this trip," says Daniel. He's laying on his back, legs thrown up over the bed. He's using his hands as a sort of pillow.

"Well, we promised we would, right?" Spencer, who's laying on his stomach, asks.

Jordan nods. "I'm glad we did." There had been things standing in her way, things like college and work, her girlfriend and her father. However, Jordan couldn't pass this up; it's been planned for way too long.

"What are you guys gonna do when this is over?" Spencer looks up at the two of them. Growing up, they were forever familiar, and he, during his teenage years, wasn't sure he'd ever forget them. However, they've both changed a lot in the last few years alone. Once a blond little girl, Jordan has become this beautiful, dark-haired woman; once a plucky child, Daniel has become a hard-working young adult. When he looks up at them, he does so with pride.

"I'm not sure," says Daniel. His dream had been the air force academy, but he's tried that once; when he looks at the sky, he sees gray, and because of this colorless world he lives in, he cannot fly.

"I think I want to find a photography school," Jordan answers. "There's one in the city, and it's beautiful." She flops back onto the floor, arms spread wildly around her splayed hair. "Huge windows, amazing architecture... I wouldn't ever want to leave."

"That sounds amazing," whispers Daniel. They're so close, there's no need to speak up.

"It is," she softly replies.

"What about you, Spence?" Daniel rolls his head to the side, locking eyes with his friend; their faces are inches away.

"Biology," he replies. "I want to go into biology. Just - Something with animals."

The room quiets down, and they listen to each other breathe.

"I think... I want to make a book," Daniel speaks up.

"Really?" Jordan lifts her head up, and Spencer giggles at her little chins. "I didn't know you were a writer."

"Not often." Daniel runs his fingers over the bedspread, feeling the little bumps of thread sewn over the top. For just a moment, he wants to sit in the silence, listening to nothing but the breathing and beating hearts of his friends. "But there's this idea floating around..."

"It feels like... we should be so much further along." Jordan puts her head back against the rough carpet.

"What?" Spencer rolls onto his back, and together the three of them are looking up at the ceiling wistfully. He knows what she means, but he wants to hear it. That will make him feel better.

"Like, we should have accomplished more. Like, I should be in college and Dan should be flying and you should - should be doing what you love." She huffs, grasping at the air above her as if that would help her form her thoughts. Her fingers only graze emptiness. It feels like the inside of her head: empty.

"I am doing what I love," says Spencer. "I'm here, hanging out on a lake house with my two best friends. I've got my hormones, and I've got my surgery. What more could I want?"

"A college degree?" Daniel laughs and it makes the others laugh, too.

"What's stopping you guys?" Spencer moves back onto his stomach, and he props himself up on his forearms. "I mean, c'mon, guys!" There's a twinkle in his eyes, ever hopeful and inspired. "Daniel, find a pen and a pad of paper in this frickin' house and get writing. Jordan, when you go home, go look at colleges. Apply to that one you love, and if they don't approve of you, fuck 'em! Get student loans, and, when you're done, your photography is going to be so beautiful it'll pay for those loans in ten years. And - Danny, if you can't fly for real, fly in that damn book."

Jordan covers her mouth. Spencer has a passionate love for life that she could never even dream of having. There's a power to his words, a determination that moves her inspires her to now get off this floor and throw herself at the world.

But she doesn't. She looks at Daniel.

Daniel is rubbing his eyes, knuckles coming away damp.

"You know I believe in you guys, right?" Spencer asks. "I know it's hard to leave what you know, but once you get all that shit off your chest? It doesn't hurt as bad as you think it might."

"God, Spence," Daniel says. He's smiling brightly, still looking up at that popcorn ceiling. "I love you, man."

"I love you, too, Danny."

Jordan reaches over, and she ruffles Spencer's hair. "I couldn't have asked for a better friend to hang around with. You mean the world to us, Spencer. And, y'know what? I'll do it."

"You promise?"

"For you guys, I'll do it. When I'm home, I'm going to apply to that college."

"And I'll start writing that book," Daniel adds.

Spencer flops onto his back once again. "Good," he says happily. "And, by the way, I get the first picture and the first copy of the book, 'kay?"

Shattering their tense determination, the three of them erupt into laughter, reaching out to brush the fingertips of their friends. There's a spark between them, connected from fingertip to fingertip, and all feels good.