His Dark Words

04 | Shades of Sunlight

My house is a small two-bedroom bungalow with a white front porch and pastel yellow exterior. Yellow was my dad's 'happy color' and at one point all the rooms inside the house were various shades of sunlight. My mom said it was too much of a headache to keep them all so most of them are back to boring white, except for the outside walls and my sunflower-bright bedroom. I would've kept them all if I could. All the best things in life are yellow; cheese, butter, bananas, and of course plenty of non-food related items ...

When Alex pulls up to the curb, we are just in time to meet the pizza guy by the door and bring the boxes into the living room. My mom has already set the scene for the evening's entertainment. The small room is lit entirely by fairy light and the drapes are pulled shut. Every book, every key of the piano is illuminated by a soft, warm glow as if they are each touched by magic. The couch is covered in a patchwork quilt and pulled right up to the TV, only leaving room for the coffee table loaded with bowls and bowls of popcorn. Each bowl is a different flavor and each flavor is somewhat experimental. You never know what mix my mom's going to pull out next. We did, however, have to set some ground rules after the tuna-cayenne-caramel fiasco of 2017.

Alex launches himself onto the couch immediately, kicking off his stiff, formal school-shoes and grabbing a handful of popcorn all at once. Vanessa demurely balances the pizza box she's carrying on top of several bowls of popcorn before joining him.

"Hey kids!" My mom calls out from the kitchen. "How was school?"

All three of us groan in chorus and she laughs, bringing in plates, cups and a pitcher of lemonade.

"What's the first movie tonight?" I ask through a mouth full of candy floss flavored popcorn.

"Well," says Vanessa slyly, "it really should be vintage Star Wars."

"Huh?" everyone looks at her, confused.

"Because 'ya know ... it's a Trap!" She doubles over laughing, I go red and Alex rolls over and groans into a couch cushion. My mom just stands there looking bewildered.

"Did I miss something?" She finds a place for the lemonade and squeezes in beside me.

I shake my head. "Just Vanessa being annoying."

"If you mention Trap one more time, I'm out of here." Alex can just about be heard muffled by the cushion.

"Oooookay how about Singin' in the Rain again?"

Alex pulls his head out of the cushion and Vanessa reaches for the pizza.

"I'll take that as a yes then!"

So, we end up watching Singin' in the Rain and the African Queen before Vanessa and Alex have to head home. I help my mom to clear up before heading to my room to yawn over my textbooks for a few hours before bed. I left the bag in the kitchen on purpose, deciding that if I was going to give it back to Trap tomorrow, I'd better avoid the temptation of reading any more. Besides, what Alex said before really bothered me. He had been quiet all night too. He seems disappointed in me and I don't know why. 

"It's not your fault." I tell myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth. "He can't expect me to read his mind!"

Angry, I switch off the light and slip into dreams about boys with black hair, blue eyes and sweet, shy smiles.

The next day starts off badly. I miss the bus and registration and am also late to my first class. Vanessa tries to talk to me all through English about Trap and gets us both detention for her trouble. I'm beginning to think that the day is cursed. Maybe I wasn't supposed to talk to Trap today? The whole day has been misstep after misstep and I just know I'll ruin things with him if I go and find him now.