Lotus Of The Leaf ~Book One~

Chapter 60! Ren's New Resolve!

~*****~

I didn't remember when, but I ended up on the ground, laying in my own self pity and exhaustion. Warm arms wrapped under my body, and lifted me up. When I came to, I was back in Konoha. I gazed over at the IV hanging limply at my bed side. My room was silent. Empty. Flowers sat at my bedside, and I vaguely wondered who had sent them before slowly sitting up. My stomach heaved, and I immediately grasped a trash can besides the bed to vomit. The bile burned at my throat and tongue. I wiped at my mouth silently before heaving again. Alarms went off as I slipped from the bed and cradled my midsection on the floor. "Ren!" I hear Shizune cry out as she enters the room. "Easy now," She coos as she helps me sit up. "The toxins are almost out of your system. That nausea you're feeling is an unfortunate side effect of your body fighting against the toxins."

I remained silent as I gingerly rubbed my lips clean of any bile. "How is everyone?" I croak softly.

"Everyone's okay. Choji and Neji's conditions have stabilized since we brought them in. Shikamaru only had minor injuries, and Kiba had more serious, but not life threatening." Shizune explains. My gaze drops and the tears burn at my eyes. "You're not to blame for this, Ren, you have to know that."

I heaved again, and let out a harsh sob as I tried to expel everything foreign in my body. "How can I forgive myself?" I ask after I stop dry heaving. "How can I even look at them after this? How can I even show my face to everyone while knowing I had been taken captive because I was too naive! I was such a fool!"

Shizune just sighed softly as she continued to rub my back, and pull my hair from the crossfire. "You trusted him. There's nothing wrong with putting your trust in your comrades. Ms. Ren, you're not a fool." I hurled again before slowly sitting up, and turning my gaze on Shizune. "No one would ever call you a fool for putting your trust in your friends."

"I'd like to be alone now, please..." I muttered softly after being silent for a few moments.

"Of course..." Shizune hummed, and helped me back onto the bed. I turned my gaze on the opposite wall, and delved into my own personal insecurities. "Lady Tsunade will be in after a little while, okay?" She coos as she brushes my hair back and pulls my blanket up higher. I hum in response before she walks out.

The clock on the wall ticks aimlessly, giving some semblance of sanity to the small, white room. My curtains are drawn. I know it's day light, thanks to the sliver of sunlight peeking in. I sit up again, waiting for the bile to rise up again, but I'm left with the discomforting feeling of my stomach clenching. I pulled my knees upwards and let out a soft sigh as my face buries into my knees. My door rattles softly, and a familiar voice echoes from outside. "Ren?" It's Shikamaru. My heart thumped painfully as I kept my face buried. My shoulders bunched up as the door opened slowly, and shut. "Hey," He hummed as he took a seat on my bed. "I know you probably don't want to talk, but I just came by to tell you that it's not your fault." I didn't move. I wasn't giving an inch. Shikamaru's hand rested atop my head and kept it there as he spoke. "I won't leave until you lift your head and tell me to. I know you probably need a friend right now."

I hesitated as I lifted my head. I expected my lips to move and tell him to leave, but instead, I let out a strangled sob as I dove head first into his arms, and sought out the comfort of my closest friend.

~*****~

Shikamaru left as soon as Lady Tsunade came in to check on my progress. The toxins were finally out of my system, and my chakra network was on the mend-- all though, I was not allowed to exhaust myself for a week or two while they healed, and I was instructed to stop by the Hyuga compound every day to have them notate the chakra lines that were still faulty. I sat alone in my hospital room as I waited to be discharged when Jiraya walked in. "Hey, Kid." He chimed.