A side effect of being alone for over a decade is learning way too many things you don't need to know. You memorize things no one else would ever think of. I memorized the entire dictionary by the time I was 15. I know every word off the top of my head:
The definition of loneliness is, sadness because one has no friends or company.
One could argue that I'm lonely.
I would disagree.
In order to feel complete loneliness you must feel complete togetherness and I've never felt that. I thought I was getting pretty damn close to that just now but the truth is I will be doomed to be alone.
Everyone is born alone and everyone will die alone but the difference between me and those people are that they are not alone in the time period between them; I am.
I live in a fragment of life itself.
I let myself believe that happiness is inevitable for everyone that love is for anyone. The moment he got home I was so eager to leave my bubble that was slowly closing in on me that I ran into darkness. The doomed loneliness that God has planned me to live in. I walked from one small bubble to a smaller one filled with heart break.
If he never came back than this wouldn't have happened.
There is only one place you can go to keep yourself from going insane in the same place for so long. Only one way to make sure you don't feel that a small room is closing in on you and swallowing you whole.
You creep into your mind and get lost on the trail there. You live in a place where reality is not a problem that crosses your mind once. You let yourself sink into a blissful world of pure lust for a life that you want to live. I earn to know what happens after death. I've read every religious book known to man and every article and conspiracy and I just need to know if I get to live in that dream for the rest of eternity or do I go to Heaven and live a blissful type of life with them.
I need to know, will I see him.
No, I don't want to see him.
Burn.
I want to see him burn I want to set flame to everything of his and everything he's every given to me. I want to leave and never come back, spend the rest of the days I have left to live alone in blissful sleep.
I'm erasing him from my story. I'm erasing him from everything.
But can you really blame me.
He played me. He knew this would do this to me. He watched me get close and he pulled me closer. He made me feel after years of being numb. He brought color to my world but all I saw was the ruins of a life I wanted with him. He knew this all. If he just stayed away. If-If he just never spoke to me.
He sweetened me and I gave him my heart in return. Such a delicate thing to hold and give. One wrong move and you could end me and everything that defines me. He didn't make a mistake though he did it on purpose.
He saw this delicate thing I possessed, something he no longer had for his has grown cold and black. My heart was pure, white as a dove. He threw it to the floor and ripped it apart. The only thing I had left is gone. He did this all to me. It's all his fault. I hate him.
This is why I never let myself feel, why couldn't I have just stayed numb.
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Well then that was something alright sorry y'all.
-Jae x
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Number 0 (On Hiatus Until Season 2)
FanficThe public knew about 6 but there were 8. They were kept a secret for completely different reasons. Number 7 had no powers. Number zero had powers that wouldn't let her get the job done right because it hurts too much to be around the other kids...
