(DISSCONTINUED)his cancer

chapter one

Lung cancer

It's an illness that kills most people, which is also known as lung carcinoma, the main cause of this cancer is smoking, coughing and pain will crawl their ways through your throat

The feeling is unbearable

It'll start off as a cough that doesn't go away or gets worse, even coughing up blood, short breaths, weakness and tiredness, and even chest pain. Then it goes from there

Treatment is six to twelve months, while average life expectancy is 2 to 4 months

And in my case they happen to be there because I smoked a lot, even when I was young.

Yes I have lung cancer

And you may think

"Why didnt you quit earlier? You could've prevented this from happening, its your fault"

I couldn't, I looked cool, it was fun at first, but now it's no longer cool.

My name is Tord larrsin I'm twenty five will be twenty six next month I live in an apartment with my three friends.

Tom

Edd

And Matt

They dont know about my cancer, I dont plan on telling them either, besides next week is Tom's twenty fourth birthday I cant ruin it.

Every day is almost the same, cloudy skies, sleeping in until four in the afternoon, taking medication to prevent my symptoms showing off to my friends.

The loneliness I usually feel is just the usual toxic emotional response to it, I've gotten used to it a bit but not as much as I would like.

I woke up one morning surprisingly early and felt weird, like something different was gonna happen today.

My hand slowly reached up to run away the blurriness

  10:24 AM

  "It's too early." As I groaned, rolling over and shoved my face into the pillow

  "Get up!" Edd bursted into the room without warning

  "AHH-" I screamed, falling off the bed in a tangle of limbs and blankets.

  "We're going out for breakfast get up fatty!"

  "I'll be down in a minute"

Edd left the room and slammed the door behind him

I struggled to untangle the thick blankets from my body, trying to kick and pull them off. I succeeded after a couple moments and stood

I opened my dresser and sorted through some clothing

I threw on a black hoodie for days whenever I  wanted to be invisible. I made sure it covered up my hair and most of my face, and I headed out the door.

   "I dibs front seat with Edd!" Matt chirped

I have to sit next to jehovah's witness again, I opened the back car and turned to Thomas

   "After you m'lady" as I chuckled, man mocking people is fun

   "Call me a lady and I'll fuck you up"
   "Tch you never laid one finger on me because of "commie germs"

As I get in the car first, he only glared but got in angry.

But something felt off, something smelt horrible the windows were open and I could smell the gas, me getting a coughing seizure in front of them is the last thing I want.
I try to roll my window up but there was one problem, Edd turned it off so only he could control the windows, whenever I would ask he wouldnt, when I tried to do it myself he almost broke my hand.

   "Um Edd?"
   "what"
   "Could you uh... please, roll up the windows?"

He looked at me for a second before smiling polightly

   "No"

I gave up slumping right back into my seat, edd and Matt were debating on which one to go to. I prayed that it would go by faster but I knew it wouldn't.

I smell the toxic gas and almost feel it going through my lungs, I tried to keep my coughing quiet as possible but it was no use to try to hide a burning sensation in my throat, when I was coughing it hurt my throat it hurt my chest and it wouldn't let me breathe that well. I opened the car door and ran back into the house not caring if they were worried about me, I ran to my room and shut the door behind me.

I laid limp and a bit weak on my toilet vomiting, some blood.

   "Well shit."

I continued until I couldn't, I still couldn't breathe that well, I go into my cabinet looking for my little treatment pills and popped a couple in my mouth and cleaned my mouth.

I walked out like nothing ever happened, felt like I was in the clear.

   "come on you're wasting our time"

Sigh..

This is going to be a long day.